Ending Strong

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1:18 Well, good evening, good evening, good evening. We're here. Are you there? Are you out there? Okay, break or breaker? Who's got their ears on? Welcome to another fabulous set, a time of dialogue and conversation and increasing in your knowledge to setting it straight with Miss Gray and her fabulous co host co hosts, and we also have some fabulous guests tonight. But before we go any further, we get to take it to the throne room. Here we go. Lord, We just thank you and we praise you so much. You alone are worthy to be praised. We thank you for your love, You're saving, grace and your mercy. Please, Father God, just have your way. We are your children. Thank you for the revelation. Thank you for revealing and exposing.

1:58 Thank you for the partnerships and the elaborations. Thank you, Father God, thank you, thank you. Thank you for more time, Thank you for more time. Now we're gonna get behind the cross. We're gonna lean in, listen, observe, pray all the while while you set your captains free. In Jesus' name, we pray, Amen, and ain't man, and ain't man. Oh things, ms kas k. I'm right, I'm right, right, right, all right. But I don't want to go I don't want to delay any further. We've got we've got guests tonight. They are not in they're not around the way, they are not out of the state. They're not even in the state. There someplace else, and we can bring them on in because we're gonna welcome them. Mister Kevin G. And mister Chris R. But we got Chris hey, thank you, Chris, thank you, thank you, thank you. Well, we've got one more so he's gonna find his way. But anyway, thank you for agreeing to do this. I'm gonna get you started.

3:02 I'll I'll tell a little piece and and and give him some time, get Kevin time to come on. I'm part of the Amputee Coalition. As you know, we're still celebrating limb loss and Limb Difference Awareness Month, and uh, this is our last Monday in the month. Three more days. This is the last three days of April. If you didn't get it done this month, just either table it or cross it over transferred to next month. Because May first is Friday. We're done. May first is here, okay, and soon we'll be in the summer months and time continues on. But anyway, I think I shared with you the last time sometime during this month that I was a part of the Amputee Coalition and on their on their community chat, Kevin was on, UH was a part, and Chris is also a member, and Kevin was getting ready to do interviews, and hey, Nickey, thank you, thank you, come on in, come on in, And I just said, you know what the heck, I do an interview. And it's been a relationship ever since I met all these groovy people that live in Canada, and we're on group chats and we're in support group settings and we've got we alive. They had a great event last night up there, I'm gonna let them tell you all about it. So Chris, I'm gonna get you started here, tell us how you got involved. And good evening, Misty, and our viewers are coming in. They're all over from Mississippi, Louisiana to New York,

4:32 to Virginia to Washington. We got some pom Beach County folks, we got some Knoxville, Tennessee folks, and we you know, so they're gonna be popping in. But Chris, go ahead, and if you want to get us started on how, you know whatever, you want to share. First of all, okay, let's let me let me do that, okay, and then tell us how you got involved with the you know, limb loss connection. And there's my jacket back there, Lizbeth jacket. So for me, I guess my journey started a little bit more than two years ago. I got really sick one day. They took me to the hospital. I was in a coma for a bit and basically the I guess, with the medication they give you to try to save you, you lose a lot of blood circulation.

5:21 So through sepsis, I lost the blood circulation through my. Hands and my legs. And then about April of twenty twenty four, I had surgery to amputate all four limbs and then I was in the hospital for a bit, went to rehab and in rehabit Saint John's Rehab in Canada, Toronto, Canada. That's where I met Kevin and we were just having some dialogue and I actually just want to like to do a little bit more computer techie. I want to create like an app. And I'm like, okay, maybe you can help. We have an idea, and he went back to his room, came back the next days. Again, that doesn't sound good. Let's let's do I think we were just going to start like like with a podcast, like, oh, we can just do like an amputee podcast, and it just kind of grew. So we created lim Loss Connection. Connection being one of the more important parts is we're basically trying to connect other amputees with each other because if you notice, maybe you might be the only one of your friends that have an amputee amputation. It's not more it's not common where multiple friends in one group have some sort of amputation, So you kind of feel like you're off on your own for a bit like no one really understands like what you're going through. Everyone can help, everyone can be nice, but no one's really going to understand what you're thinking is like and how you feel losing your limbs. And even just as other amputees, maybe they're

6:51 I can understand, they might understand losing one, but not many people are going to understand losing four. So even in our own community, you're trying to find other people who you can connect with that can help you navigate your own journey. Because like, it's rough. It's rough when something like this happens, and you're just trying to figure out how to move forward and get back to like your normal, everyday life. So we kind of founded Limb Loss Connection. We started small, We're just trying to connect people, and then we just started adding members. We Miss Gray came on and she's been great. She's motivational, She she fills gaps that we didn't know that we had. She can, she's great at researching, and she finds us all these different forms and bylaws that we didn't even know we needed.

7:43 And we have different members that kind of fill different gaps. We have Yeahs, who's our communications person. She's great talking. Maybe I'm not the best at talking. I talk a lot, but not the best at communication. So she kind of commune helps with like the communications. We have social media. We have Angie on there, so we have like Paolo and Kevin, who has the other confounder. We all you are certain tasks. Kevin is more the hands on taking care of everything, making sure everything's going. I'm a little bit more behind the scenes. I don't like you like being like the forefront. I kind of like, give me my cosk and let me run with it.

8:23 You did so good at you look at you. He was not sure if he's going to get through it, and I was like, no, we will guide you. It's safe, it's all good. And as you all can hear, we all, I mean, there's there's over five points some million amptees and then and and you know right now that's the number. We're at five point two I believe million, okay, And everybody's got a different story. And then we break it down to subgroups, and then you break it down to age, you bring it down. I mean, you know, it's just it's it's it's it's and it's continuing, it's continuing. But we want you to know that there are resources out there, there are people. We know how to listen and we know how to gently say you know what, maybe you should try this, Maybe you should try that. Whereas other people from other communities wouldn't know, like Chris said, they wouldn't know, you know, really how to approach us, because everybody wants to help you. Everybody wants to help. They think, oh, I gotta help, I gotta help. It's like no, no, no, I'm in training today. I think I'm gonna make a T shirt. I'm in training today. You know, I'll let you know if I need help. And it's a wonderment that people you know, and it's everywhere, right Chris, I mean it's up there. It's up there in Canada as well.

9:36 Yeah, it's it's it's a big community. I don't think we have as much as the States, but Lin Loss we're trying to cover both sections. We understand there's a gap between Canada and the US with the mputee awareness, so we do try to give out resources that maybe people don't know about how people like small things you get how do you get a wheelchair? How do you pick prosthetics? Anything? We do We have a we have our YouTube channel, Live Loss Connection, we have our Facebook, we have our Instagram page, so we're on all the platforms. Spotify, there's there's stories you can listen to. There's just some kind of talk like this today, even just like some tips.

10:25 Maybe you're having trouble trying to get out of chairs and with especially as like a bilateral, you don't really have the flexibility. Have some tips on how to get out of chairs, how to eat, for example, because I don't have the hands right, so how do you eat with the prosthetic arms? And it's also to be stuff that we take recommendations. If someone's having trouble doing something and someone's good at it, we can connect them or even make a video on what can help other people, because at least from what I found, it's much easier to watch somebody do something thing and mimic it then to try to figure it out yourself, and yeah, you might get to the same result, Like it takes you some time, but if someone's already done it, it's much easier to follow their instructions and it might save you.

11:15 Hours of energy. And as an empty we burn a lot of energy for doing everything. And we do, and we you know, and we're still people. We're still people. We still have the same personality. We may it have changed, you know, the foods that we eat and things like that. We have some changes too, but we're the same people and people, you know. I remember, you know, my daughter did very well as making sure just not anybody came to visit me in the hospital because I was still trying to wrap my head around what was going on, you know, in a coma. I don't know how long were you How long were you in your coma, Chris, I. Think about a week and a half to two weeks. Okay, that whole part is gone.

12:02 Like I don't remember. I actually don't remember driving home that night. Like I remember picking up my girlfriend now wife, I remember getting picking her up, getting in the car, but I don't actually remember the drive home or anything after that. I just remember waking up in the hospital. But I told it it was about a week and a half to two weeks in the coma. Okay, yeah, and see we had similar I was in mine for three weeks, you know, and everything total loss until I woke up. I mean, most of the book is, you know, as I'm I'm just trying to tell the parts that it came from my daughter, Miss Kay. You know, she was the one that every day she knew, no, Mom, this is what happened, or that she just corrected me on something the other day she goes, no, it wasn't a night, it was in the daytime. I'm like, oh, shucks, okay, you know, And I still can't bring back some of that.

12:52 I still cannot remember, even though she has filled in the bank banks really well. But you know, we all have that different you know, the whole difference and the experience and where we're at because it depends on our age and what were you doing before, and you know, and then trying to you know, immediately I was like, I can't go back. I can't go back to my office. I can't go back to acting. I can't go back. I can't, you know. And the Lord had to quiet me down and say, I didn't tell you to do that. I need you to get some rest. And I didn't know what he meant at that time, because trying you know, PTOT coming in the nurse is waking you up at least every two hours, checking vitals, of drawing blood, all kinds of things and I'm like, oh my god, you know, and then they got to bathe you, and then they have to figure out how to bathe you, and you know, especially when you had your limbs on and things like that.

13:42 So it's our stories are different. And if you want to please go to the Limbolos Connection dot com and we've got our stories are on their the interviews. We've got the interviews as well the stories. Chris, you want to tell a little bit about the website a little bit and what you know, folks can once they log in how to kind of not navigate too much, but you know, what they was what they could find on there. Could you explain that a little bit more for me, for us, So. We try to get a little bit of everything. So one of the main things is we have virtual support calls every other Sunday, which helps just amputees come together and they can talk about any issues on the call from all over North America. So there's a spot on the website where you can register and you'll get a link to if you want to join. We have resources such as if you're looking for clinics in your area, we do include the US clinics in different states. We have stuff on tips on like buying wheelchairs, because most time you probably never have to think of how do you buy a wheelchair? And especially like when you're in the hospital, it's it's very different. Like you wake up and all of a sudden, it's like you lose a limb, and it's like, oh wait, you got to get a wheelchair, or you've got to get these things in your home, and you don't know know, your family doesn't know how to get these things. So we help navigate new amputees and family members of how to get these items. We put on there some useful items because you don't really

15:14 know what you need, you need it. And I'm very like, I'm very picky and I'm a certain way and I can't change the way I am. So just as an example, I can't wear my shoes in the house, Like we don't wear shoes in the house. You always take off your shoes, and I can't take off the shoes of the off the feet. So now I'm thinking, like, well, what am I supposed to do in the house. I can't just walk in my house with my shoes. So we went online and we found shoe covers and I just cover my shoes when I come into house, and like that was an important thing, so I put that on the website, just a link to do. Covers you go the same way. You can cover up your shoes. You don't feel like you're walking in your shoes with your wet shoes, your dirty.

15:57 Shoes, anything like that. Things that even like toothpaste dispensers for me because I can't really grip the toothpaste because so I can push the toothpaste in theer. Things like electric toothbrushes helps because you can't really brush the same way. So the electric Truth Health. We have links to stories other people who have similar situations, maybe a motorcycle accident, acepts, this diabetes. So we have so many different resources. We try to get something for everybody because knowing because we went through it, and you're looking for help and you don't really know where to go, and it's not that guarantee that the hospital you go to is going to know where to guide you. Like I was in the first hospital and they had physio and it's the surgical word, but no one really told me anything about having to get a wheelchair. They gave me a wheelchair from the hospital, but I didn't know any to my own. They didn't really know anything well prosthetic at that stage. It was until I went to.

17:02 Rehab that they give you these ideas of what you need. So we were trying to like get stages of your recovery. So when you're in the hospital, maybe you want to look at these certain things of like dealing with like losing the limb, and then when you hit the rehab stage, it's okay, well what do you get to look at, Oh, rehab exercises, prosthetics, wheelchairs. Then when you go home, what do you need, Oh, you might need a bath chair, may need grab bars. So we try to get something for everybody because we know how difficult it is, and we try to listen to everybody and not leave anybody out.

17:43 Now is their gaps. There's probably gaps that we're still learning with. But if somebody does give us some sort of suggestion that we're missing something, we're very twick to like, Okay, how can we add that for that person or connect them with somebody else. Yeah, thank you for that. And just going back to the one of the two leading organizations, Ampute Coalition of the US, and there's an Ampute coalition in Canada and uh the one in Canada right now has one certification program which is to be a peer visitor. They train us on how to go if if a patient or if an an emputee person, whether it's pre amputation or a post amputation, if they want a visitor, they want somebody that they can relate to, they call us. They'll try to match us as close as possible, like, well, I'm lower limb, I'm no toes and I'm upper limb, but so I'm a combo. But you know somebody made Chris and I are combos. You know, somebody else may just be upper limb, you know, and and they'll try to match you with that person. We're now one thing we don't go We don't We can't go in and telling them, oh, this is a great you know procethessis over here, or this is a great pet over here.

18:57 You know, we can't give those type of suggestions. We are there for the emotional support and just to let you know you're not by yourself and there's a brighter side. There's a brighter side. And now now it's time to fight heal as best as you can, because once you're healing, and as you're healing, you got to get ready to fight. And what I mean by that is fight for your advocacy, fight for your rights, fight to be heard. You know another piece. I was thinking about this, Chris earlier today and even yes last night. The Lord placed it on my heart. Our caregivers, our families, because we go into hospital, we leave, we left them one way, and then months later, ninety seven days, one hundred days later, and then six months later we're getting you know, you know, having our surgeries and stuff, even or you have it while you're in the hospital during that main stay. We're coming back different.

19:53 We're coming back a little different. And thank you Anastasia. You know, so we can't really tell sometimes our loved ones what we really need because we're still trying to wrap our head around what am I to do now? What am I to do? And getting the word out people need to know. Thank you, Mickey, you know what do I need to do? And everybody wants Then you've got your prosthetic people saying oh, well you could try this, and you could do this, and I'm like, hold, just hang on a minute, hang on a minute, Just give me a minute, you know, just give me a minute. I got it. Let me get used to this. Well, they're sneakers. There's shoes and orthopedic shoes that you see on Amazon are different for folks who don't have toes.

20:37 You know, that's a different shoe even though it's a sneaker. I got to do veil kraw because I want to tie my I want to be able to put my own sneakers on, you know when I want to go for a walk and things like that. So you know it's different, but I want to do a piece. We already open to listening to our caregivers, but I really want to. I know we eventually once we get everybody that wants to come in and settled a little bit, and you know, designate some more you know, opportunities and things like that, because we can't do everything. We're not going to spread ourselves too thin. So we need voices and we need energy and all that good stuff. But you know, we want to talk about the caregivers because we want to give a shout out to them because they've got to They don't know what really to do, and sometimes we may have to snap. You know, we may have a bad day and they I know. They they're like, well, I can't leave you alone because I don't I don't want you falling off the bed or something, you know, and giving us our space. So that's a whole conversation right there. That's a whole different type of book.

21:36 That's a whole different type of lecture, you know, or support, just to tell our our caregivers how much we love them and appreciate them because you put up with us as we're trying to navigate our personality, our to do lists. What I need you to do is this. What I need you to do is that, no, don't do that, you know, and without them getting their feelings hurt because they lost us, they have they have a loss too, because you know, before this, you know, I was ahead of my household and and I was I was making money and doing doing my acting and doing this and doing that, and staying busy while the kids were in school and then I could go pick them up and then get them home and you know, and then the next day back at it. And now all of a sudden, I'm home and I'm like, everything I used to do, I'm not able to do. At that time, I didn't think I could. I was able to bless bless God blessed me to be able to go back and to try and see how I felt acting again at the History Center. But I would have to have somebody with me, especially if I have a change of clothing, you know, and things like that, so you know, and then and then getting you see your prosthetic. That's a whole conversation.

22:44 We're thankful for the for our new legs and arms and fingers and toes and everything. We're thankful it's out there. You it would blow your mind. You think you've seen the Terminator. That stuff is real, those arms, legs, that mechanics and everything that's real, and that was already in existence before Terminator came along. Where do you think they got it from? Then it just stopped and saying, you know what, we need a mechanical arm that can move and they can shoot out things. Don't star wars, all that stuff that's been there. We just happened that we need it. We need it, and it's a field that's growing. That's a whole different arena. Talking to the companies that make the prosthetics, and and that's you know, I don't know about you, you know, I you know that day being interviewed by my prosthetic company, you know, and I had to put my hand down and did this mush stuff to form the hand that they were gonna make for me, and and my feet the same way I mean, you know, with the toes and getting the toe fillers in it. You know, it's a whole story. If you want to listen, it's a whole story. And we're still we're trying to move forward. So one of the many things I appreciate, appreciate about Limbloss is that you've got things set up. You go on the website, you click on this. Oh, oh I didn't know that that was there.

24:02 You click on that. Oh I didn't know that was there. But trying, like like Chris said, we put in we're uploading there, uploading all the time, so you're not alone. And that's the main message we want to get out there to let people know you're not alone, and we know what you're feeling. We know the loneliness, we know the depression, we know the fact, we know about phantom pain, phantom sensation. That's you know, it's so many subjects all over the place, all over the place, you know, So all right, audience or co host trade ms K come on Talk lit'sten. You know he's good. He's good. Guys. Have any question it's well, not necessarily a question, but something that I would like to just say. And it's nice meeting you, Chris, you know, thank you for sharing great shares on the show all the time.

24:54 But what I was thinking when you were talking. About not knowing what to do, like from the hospital, you where that starts. So my thought was thinking, like a discharge or is a social worker at that point that before isn't it a piece before your discharge? It's like a social worker or something like that. I envisioned that maybe if they have these conferences, you know, everybody has a conference, you know, to learn about the different things. I think it'll be great. If your organization presented at it may be a social work consortium or workshop or conference, whatever they are, and giving them some ideas of things that they need to do should they encounter someone with lim law, you know where to start, you know, because they might be at a loss as well, but a start as okay, preparing helping to prepare the family, because that's your like.

25:46 Your go to between before going home. If I'm thinking correctly, that's your go to and so that it would behoove them maybe to do that, and maybe even before that, like a transition team, a team of people that will help the caregivers the families to navigate. What life will look like once to discharge from the hospital. So that support system that will be there through the part of the journey. And these are knowledgeable people and I think maybe with your organization and you mus Gray being part of that, you know, training transitional teams for families for when they're exiting things to expect the depression, the mood changes, the you know what else and just being there for a certain amount of time.

26:33 But yeah, we're doing Yeah, we're we're right now and Chris always you know, correct me if I'm wrong. But right now, especially in up in Canada, they have put it. They've got made contact with some of the main hospitals and the main doctor's, main surgeons, so we we've got their ear and I think they came on a couple of times on the with the Sunday Support virtual support groups, uh, to just talk about some updates and things like that. So we're slowly, you know, getting the dealing with just the amputee profession those who are from the PT to the OT, to the surgeons themselves or to the doctors the aftercare. We're right there with them right now. And you're right, Trey. That's how I got involved with the ampute Coalition. Well, I was involved in. I was looking and then they're like, oh, we're coming to Orlando for our conference. So they came here two years ago and that's where I met my my my ot. She came as my guest. You know, I mean, who does that?

27:29 You know what I'm saying, She's got and they gave her a day off and everything, and I was just so happy. But you know, everybody was there. And that's where I met my taekwondo instructor and I'm you know, I'm her first you know, limb loss uh you know, uh a student. So and I'm going back, but you know it's it's yeah, which it's just so many trying that we're just trying to get the ear to everybody. And and I think, and Chris, I want you to answer this too. I think one of my main things I have to sit and think about it because it's so much much. But what my main thing is, I think One of my main things that I had to come to grips with was I got to be able to let you know when I do need help and when I don't need help, because I'm still trying. I'm trying to become as independent as I can. Now that I'm alive, I'm here. Okay, he allowed me to live, not once but twice. Okay, I got I gotta go forward now. But being able to accept the help. You know, sometimes it's a hard thing. So to tell the public at large, and even our caregivers don't get upset with us.

28:35 You really don't know if we're we wake up that morning saying, you know what, today, I've got to do three things. I've got to clear this list, and I got to do it by myself. You don't know what we're really thinking because we don't sit there and have a whole conference a lot because we don't know sometimes what we need to do that day, and it just happens that we did it. We couldn't do it last week, but we could do it this week. Well, Chris, what would be something that you would right now where you're at, where you've been. I don't mind sharing. What would be something we need to know, you know, people in your immediate circle, or your caregivers or just public at large. What would be one thing. It's a lot, I know, but just you can think about it if you want, if you need to take them in. But I'm just curious communication.

29:16 I think communication between both caregiver and amputee is very important because and I'm not even saying I still don't do it for a while, I would just expect people to know what I wanted to do without saying anything, and then my wife would be like, oh, why don't you just. Use your words? Like And it's funny because you say to kids like, oh you, what do you want? What are you being upset? But I was doing it and I don't even know why I was doing it. I would just be sitting I'm like, okay, well I need to do this. Oh my put my hearing aids in and she's like, well, if you don't tell me, how am I supposed to know, like you what you want me to do?

29:58 And I don't. I I don't really know why I was doing it, but I'm like, okay, I need to like get better. I like speaking, maybe because I'm not used to asking for help. It's weird for me to like be like, oh, can you do this? And what can you do that? And can you do this? So I feel like communication and like, yeah, if you want to try something, tell them like, hey, let me try putting on my shirt by myself, because I feel like when you you don't really know what you can do until you try it, and you don't really know what the issue is. And a lot of times I'll do something and my wife will be like, why I've been helping you this whole time. You clearly can do it by yourself, so now do it by yourself. Like that I would help me with myself and then She'll be going somewhere and I'll just be like, okay, let me just do this, and then she comes back to like, what the heck? Like, so why have I been doing this?

30:48 Like do it yourself? And it was it was just and kind of like you were saying, like try to do three things a day, but just try to do something like I'll just use an example for everybody, was brushing my teeth because I can't grab the toothbrush, and then in my head I'm troublestreating like, well, how do I do this? So I just took my electric toothbrush and I sat on the couch. No water, no nothing nice and dry. And I sat on the couch and then I'm like, okay, well how do I balance it? And so I just I sat there and played with it for a bit. How do I balance it on my arm? How do I hold it down? How do I put a little bit of pressure? And then after like five to ten minutes, I'm like, oh, I found a good way to do this. And then the next it was like, okay, well let me try to like use some water. And then I again, I got to like a toothpaste dispenser so I can just push the thing and get the toothpaste.

31:36 And I figured out how to balance it. I figured out how to like get in my electric truth of his tea because like it does most of the work. But it was more just figuring out the balance. I have like a compression sleeve sometimes on my arm. I can't use that when I'm brushing my teeth because it's slides. I don't have the grip. So I'm like, okay, I have to make sure it's all my skin to balance. But it's like those little things unless you try to do it. You're not going to know. And then you find out whether you can do it, what it takes to do it, and like then you can troubleshoot a little bit more so kind of give yourself a little bit of credit and try. You get a little bit lazy and you just get complacences because someone's doing it for you. You're not really going to know if you can do it or what you need to be able to do whatever you're trying to do.

32:23 Yeah. I was in ot and PT one time, and you know, when I have my prosthetic arm. We were doing exercises and doing things and then we took it. We take it off to give my arm arrest because it's a heavy thing. It's heavy, even though I got a little lighter one, but it's still heavy. And by ot Christina had Christina had to say, ms Gray, you know you can use your arm and I'm looking at him, like what because you're not using the rest of your arm. I literally forgot that I got this much of arm that I could use, you know, because I'm so used to. I got to put something on that and I'm like, oh my, and I said then I teared up because because I didn't realize. I really didn't know because I was protected. I can't use this. My hand is gone, my fingers are gone, But no I can't because I use this to balance. I used this to pick up things I get back people in the store, like you know, you need some help. No, no, no, I load the arm up as is, you know, with my bags and stuff, as long as I can make it out the door, thank god. All of to do is put my body on the car and unlock my door and stuff like that.

33:28 So you know, it's amazing. Last year, I think sometime when we were honoring over the last couple of aprils, I brought on all my gadgets, my assistant devices, my cup handles and stuff. And Amazon is just they have really kept up with the industry. I have to give them my applause because anything you can it's from scissors to cups, cup holders, socks, all kinds of things. You can go to Amazon and just put in this search bar assisted devices. That's all you have to do and it's gonna come up. It's gonna you know, whatever you may need. So any any questions, come on, guys, come on, audience.

34:10 I know y'all listening. Something. I don't have any questions. But you know, mister Chris, I thank you for sharing your story, and I just loved how you shared of you know, some people being lazy, you know, saying doing things that. You didn't say lazy. Don't call me then after the fact, but tell because somebody see what I live with. Enjoys, you know, when we do everything when they're completely capable. Of doing it themselves. But I didn't make herself her own meal today so well, not like actually like making it, but like you know, heating up some food for herself. I definitely just as like my wife does love this stuff, and I try and like I'm like, oh okay, let me try you if I can do the laundry, and I'll try to do those things. But what I noticed is it's kind of like you have to work as a team because the caregiver is also scared that you're going to hurt yourself and you're trying to show that you can do something. Because it kind of brought me when you're talking about like getting the cart bags from the car and I'm like, okay, give me a bag, and she's like no, Like you have to walk in balance, like I'll carry everything.

35:20 She's trying to carry. All the bags, and it took her a while to be like okay, well okay, this one's like here take this one. And then like I'm like, okay, if I have my prosthetics arms, can I put it on? Is it too heavy? As it hurt? And then same thing, I just grip it with my elbow or put it over my shoulder. And then I think the other day, we want pizza, but you can't carry the bags and the pizza. So I'm like, okay, just give me the bag. She gets heavy. I'm like, no it, just give it to me. I'll take my time. So she gave me a big Costco bag. I just throw it over my shoulder. She set me up, and then I'm like okay, I'm like just go like let me. I'll walk behind you. I'll take my time. I'll make sure I don't like try to rush. But it still took her time time to allow me to do those things.

36:02 Because your character but also doesn't want you to get hurt. They feel responsible for you. So if you fall, even though it's your fault, they're going to feel guilty that you felt because they didn't stop you. From falling and he can't help it. Like, if you fall, you fall, like it happens, but like they also feel like they're tied to you if you fall or get hurt. So you kind of have to work together a little bit and maybe take a step out of time so that they also feel comfortable allowing you to stay home by yourself. It took my wife for a long time, or she would leave me in the house by myself, and I'm like, I'm fine, Like I'm not going anywhere. Just put my legs on. I can go to the washroom if I need to go to the bathroom. There's nothing major that's going to happen.

36:46 But it took her some time. Now she leaves, you can go go to grocery shopping, come back and I'm still in one piece. Yeah, I'm behind twenty four to seven, but just trying to track me. She is. Trying to track me. You know, mam, you need to get an I she turns off your phone, I feel like I'm gone. I'm gone. It's definitely an old school thing with turning your phone off while you're running errings. It makes no sense to me because it's like I'm trying to reach you, and. What if I have something going on, like how would you know? Like she does that, she turns her phone off. Because I don't want to take everything. I have a cross body handbag. I got to get to my money. I got to get to my change first. You know, I don't need to get me trying to get to the cell phone, because it's gonna take me a minute.

37:30 I've got to get my phone. Got to get the phone. Then I got to lay it here, and then I got to, you know, maneuver. I don't have time for that because when I leave here, I want to go do what I need to do and come back. See I have her run down, like her plans for today, and then sometimes it changes. So when she answers the phone, I know she's doing something extra than what she told me. I just don't trust her when she goes out by herself, because she's by herself. No really think I'm going to see something. I'm seeing somebody trade. They think I'm not worried about that. Let her know that I'm not worried about that. You let me, I'm not worried. You put on can you put in earbuds? Get her some air pods. So she just touched them on the phone will answer and then you can answer ideas.

38:16 Unfortunately, mister Chris, I'm sure the aeropods will work with them. Still, who sided you. On, Chris? But it is hard. It is a conversation and letting people, you know. Let and Anna Stagia had a question, do you when do you ask us for help? Watch our body language, our eyes will tell you because if we're like trying you because most of y'all are standing and watches right, so we're trying to get the bag, we're trying to get reach in the basket. All you have to you can say hey, I can help, and we may say no, thank you, and you have to accept that and you'll have to walk away. But there was a time recently I said, but you would you The person was staring at me so long because they didn't.

39:00 They were frozen, like I don't know what to do it other what to do? And I said, could you? Oh yes, And I'm like, okay, all that you know, but they were staring at me for so long. But thank you for asking. And I told you all the situation when I was in Walmart and I accidentally put the soda on the basket on the inside, which is where the conveyor belt was, instead of putting it on the outside. Because I'm taking I'm walking around and I'm getting everything and putting up so and the gentleman behind me was standing there like and I could tell, I swore he stopped breathing because he didn't know what to do. So I just walked around my basket, pulled it out a little bit, lifted up my sodas, and I said, I'm okay. He said, oh, thank you, I said, I said, I'm okay, and thank you for not saying anything, because I'm really working on independence. The cashier was about to pass out because she's like, I can't even get to her fast. I can't get around fast enough just to get the soda on the out of the basket. I don't put it on the side. And then what put it in the basket now, you know? So it's just little things like that. And we're always learning things about ourselves too. Every day. We have a new normal every day.

40:04 Yeah, and scared, like both sides, Like if you see someone struggling, all this is like, oh do you need help? And if it's no, okay, no problem, or if you're the ampute who needs help. It's very easy to just be like, oh, do you mind just helping me? And it's hard. Like, don't get me wrong, I don't ask anybody for anything. I never really if I needed something, I would just figure it out myself. I never did, so now it's hard to ask. And I don't know who told. I don't know if it is great or someone. In one of the virtual calls, they're. Like, when you go to a restaurant, just ask them to cut up your steak. And I'm like, oh, they're like, yeah, they have no problem because otherwise my wife's cutting it up. And then I'm like, so every time I go they I'm like, do you mind just slicing it? And they're like, yeah, sure, it comes all sliced uff in pieces. I can just scoop it onto a spoon, and yeah, it doesn't come as nicely as you want to take pictures for all the girls want to take pictures of their food. But it makes it so much easier and it saves you so much time. And then it also lets my wife eat her food because she's not worrying about trying to cut up my food and feed me.

41:05 The food. It's in pieces that I can just scoop it and eat on my own and then her food doesn't go cold. But it's really just being comfortable asking for help or asking somebody if they need help. You don't have to like jump in, you just have to ask. Yeah, don't hover over us, don't you know? Oh we don't. Don't do that, because I'd like, don't touch me, don't don't even come near me, because you got the wrong idea already. You know, and and and and I know you you really mean, well, but just give me a minute. And as I was telling the gentleman at walmart, I said, yeah, just you never know when we're working on our independence. He said, I get you, he said, but thank you? He said, oh my god. He said that just bother me because I want to jump it in help. And one time I was at olive Guard and I was there by myself. I always get my to go cups.

41:52 I have to take my handle in And so I'm watching the restroom. I seeing who's leaving, who's gonna not be between me and the exit door. Believe it or not, I'm sitting here looking, Okay, I'm judging. I said, okay, I'm gonna hurry up. I'm not gonna take her to go cup with me, So I'm gonna get up and go. I'm not gonna have any food. I've been leaving food on the plate. Normally I don't leave food on a plate. I asked for to go back or whatever, but this time I said no. I got to get out that door because it was really packed. So I was good. I was good. I was walking, you know, I was making it. I could see the door and all of a sudden, I don't know where these people convened, just just came from nowhere, and it was kids, and they were right on me, and I'm just trying to get to the door. So this guy he's coming in, so instead of holding the door open for me, he's gonna walk in. I mean, I'm like, and I could like, you know, we're we were wobbles, you know, even though we've got good shoes on, we are unsteady sometimes and if you bump us, there's nothing we could do. There's really nothing. And I don't want to fall. I don't want to go back to the hospital. And so by the time I got I thank god, the handicapped parking was right there. By the time I got to my car, I was just tears because I felt so bad. I mean, like you all didn't even you could even see because they were behind me, but the guy was in front of me, and I'm like, you're so inconsiderate, and I'm like, I'll never come out by myself again. I'll never go eat by myself. I can't go and eat. And I had all these thoughts in my head because I can't do this because they were just that one time, but I've been going ever since. But you know, it's just,

43:24 you know, it's just you know, we pivot. We pivot, you know, and sometimes I there are times when we go out to eat. If I go by myself, I got to know, Okay, I can only get this or that because I can't. I don't have anybody to cut up my food. So I can't enjoy a steak tonight because they don't cut food our food down here, Chris for some reason. Then you know, I've asked, would you mind if they could you ask the chef to cut it up. Well, we can't do that, Oh okay, you know, so then nope, just give me chicken breast, So give me the meat loaf. You know, give me a fish that I could just take my fork and just jab it and stuff. So they don't know to down here. For some reason, in Orlando, some of the restaurants will not cut up my food, so you know, and you know, whe of the kids is with me, they you know, they grab the plate and like okay immediately and they cut up real quick, and I'm ready to go. I'm good to go, So you know, I'm still trying. Yes, Trey, oh, she wants to say something, say something, Tray. We got a few more minutes.

44:24 I'm visualized unities for sensitivity training, whether restaurants, because this is how you can pitch it. I would have bought the steak, but I wouldn't have been able to do it. So now I bought the chicken. So if you're trying to help me, spend some money so I can enjoy it. These are the accommodations I need, not you know, but just the conversations around because sometimes people. Just don't think about it. And I might be have conversations with franchises or managers. Hey, if you have somebody in and maybe the extra part would be do you need special accommodations because they do it at the gas station. If you need special accommodations, push the button for the clerk. Same thing with that.

45:05 Is there something maybe on the menu if you need a special accommodations, please let the waitress or waiter know, and then that could look like anything. That could be anything. Because I understand, Chris. Who you want to be able to go out with your wife and let her enjoy her food. I understand that stay. With you, Miss Kate, with Miss Gray, but you should not have to forego what you want because nobody's on the other end. The restaurants brought to their attention, they might do it and maybe they never thought about that. You see what I'm saying, Because I want to say chicken because you you should not have to and maybe bring it to the atta. So that's my. Thought at least I'm not sure about in the States, but in Canada, Google reviews are like gold, especially for long businesses. And I've left a batter view because something happened and they contact me right, oh we're so sorry, blah blah blah. But it's very easy to go on there and be like, oh, went into this restaurant one star, the food was okay, asked them to do something as I'm disabled and they said no, So they weren't. It's not like you're asking for something crazy, like they have knives in the back, they can't why can't they cut it up? Like they can clearly see you you have a disability, and you can't hold the knife to do it, So they're limiting your food options. So like, that's what I usually do if if I get some great service from somebody, I leave a great review mentioning like, oh, like they were very thoughtful, they did this, they did that.

46:35 But if they're bad, I clearly leave something like oh they did this, this and this, they didn't care And then usually they'll be like, oh, we're so sorry about that. But at least then people know going forward because if they get a few bad reviews, people will look at it and they're going to lose business. So they're very quick to like address it right away. So maybe that could be your thing if they're If they're like that, they're leaving use for them and let people know about how about their businesses. Did they ask prior to them cutting up the food? Yeah? I would. I mean, I hear what Chris is saying and I would you know, if I'm by myself and they're taking in my servers taking my order, that would may be a better time to say, could you have the chef just cut it up a couple of pieces for me? I really appreciate it, you know, and see what what what? They respond? But I have had them after the food was almost getting ready to come out, and say could you have them cut that up? No, we can't do that. Okay?

47:30 Oh why them? Once I placed the order, I'm like, okay this and do you mind asking the chef to cut it? And usually they're like okay, I no problem and it always comes up nicely twice in the smaller pieces. Okay, sounds good. Okay. I don't know who's trying to interrupt this k there. I know that's not jazz walking on her hind feet. So anyway, Chris, okay, which one got okay? But the one who made the music, Chris, did you pay attention to the music? If you next, as we're going off, listen to the music. My baby boy created the theme music for us. Nice. It's really cool. But thank you, Chris. Anything else I mean we want as that's our time, this is our last Monday in April, and we've done it, and thank you for just really putting the exploding candles on the cake tonight. But anything you want to leave audience with you anymore. As we're signing off.

48:24 Just thank you so much for having me, and please if you guys, visit our website Limlosconnection dot com. We're on YouTube under Limloss Connection. There's some stories, there's some amp talks on Instagram. We're getting more content goings soon. We'll have our Sea and Tower event with some photos and videos. Also a Limbnlos Connection on Instagram, and we're on Spotify and Facebook also under Limloss Connection. So just search us, follow us, check out our posts. If you like it, please like and subscribe to our our channels as well, and then hopefully that can help us bring more content and newer stuff for things. And if you have any suggestions of something you'd like to see, you can always leave something in the comments that if you want to see another type of video or something we can talk about, we can look to see if we can get some content for that.

49:17 Thank you, everybody give it up for mister Chris. Thank you. We'll see y'all next week, same time, same station, take us home, Yes, ins