Celebrating Older Americans Month

seniors, aging, ageism, discrimination,
Setting It Straight w/ Ms. Gray is broadcast live Mondays at 7PM ET.
Setting It Straight w/ Ms. Gray TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com)
Setting It Straight w/ Ms. Gray Radio Show is broadcast...
seniors, aging, ageism, discrimination,
Setting It Straight w/ Ms. Gray is broadcast live Mondays at 7PM ET.
Setting It Straight w/ Ms. Gray TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Setting It Straight w/ Ms. Gray Radio Show is broadcast on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com).
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questions or comments should be directed to
those show hosts. Thank you for choosing
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W FORCY Radio. Well, good
evening, Good evening, and welcome to
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another segment of Sending It Straight with
Miss Gray and co hosts. And tonight
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you see that tray tray is all
the way from Virginia. Hey, Trey,
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how are you? How's your wonderful
how are you? It's gone well
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gone, well, okay, okay, Yeah, it's been storming here,
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oh wild storming here. Yes,
But before we get started, let's pray.
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Father. We just thank you and
we praise you. We give you
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glory, for you alone are worth
it to be praised. We thank you,
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Father God for this day. We
thank you for your glory, We
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thank you for your mercy. We
thank you for your unconditional love. We
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thank you for your peace that passes
all understanding. We thank you for your
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favor. We thank you for your
mercy and your grace, your goodness and
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your love. And we thank you
for all that you've given us, all
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that you've allowed us to experience,
whether it was good, bad, or
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indifferent, we know that you were
there all the time. Now tonight,
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Lord, this is your show.
We are your people. Tray and I
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get behind the cross. We let
you do what you do best, setting
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your captors free. All this and
will be asked in Jesus name, Amen
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and amen. Well, yes,
it has been storming here, a natural
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storm. I mean, forget it. I know that forever we've always wanted
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to talk about. June first is
hurricane season. I think now we can
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let it go. We can let
it go because it starts up whenever it
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wants to. We've been having tornadoes
here, and these tornadoes are ruthless.
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They are ripping trees out of the
ground. This is not hurricane this is
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tornadic weather, and it is It's
a very scary thing. I'm so glad
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that with my building, the Lord
told me to go in. I saw
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these branches hanging over the business next
door to me. There's another set of
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branches from the same tree that was
touching the power lines, the cable line
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and the electric line. I called
for the electrical company, never got back
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to me. God sent me a
great handyman. He said I can do
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it. I said, thank you, and he I know that. The
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business next door to me came in
on Monday and said, oh God,
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the trees are gone. Yes,
because I don't want that liability. I
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don't want any tree being I mean
lightning striking tree limbs, not no little
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limb tree limbs and look like somebody
hacked in it, ripped it off,
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like the Jolly Green Giant came or
either of King Kong and ripped the tree,
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ripping, ripped it. I'm like, I'm going there's trees that are
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out just uprooted from the ground.
And this is not an all nighter.
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This is just a few hours of
rain and toward that, you know,
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lightning that sounds like it's like it's
breaking the ground. So people, you
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need you know you you're gonna have
to really use wisdom on this one.
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America unfortunately has to pay for her
sins and it's in the weather. The
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weather is speaking for itself. The
weather is speaking. We've got strange creatures
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showing up in waters and on lands
that don't that's they're way away from home.
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They're way away from home, and
all they're doing is fighting them and
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stuff. And then here in Florida, we got alligators just coming up,
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coming up in people back yard and
I'm thinking that they on the food.
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They don't have enough to eat,
so that it drives them out of the
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water and they're looking for something to
eat. Bears. I know that we've
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had a lot of construction in these
woods out of no Central Florida had it
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so many bear infestations. But mama
bear, baby bears, daddy bears,
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I mean black bears are in Central
Florida, and they go up the tree
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and look at you like what you're
gonna do, You're gonna come and get
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me out the tree, and then
eating the leaves and everything else. These
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animals are hungry, so you can't
take them in for as a pet.
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You can't say, oh here,
no cats. Faral cats everywhere down everywhere
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now, and I believe some of
them are not just feral cats. I
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think people just let their animals walk
out at the door, put them outside,
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and when and if you're feeding these
stray animals, they're gonna stay right
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there where they're being fed. So
don't don't get that twisted. I've never
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heard of the shelters being as full
as they were from Katrina days. I
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thought it slowed down because animals were
displaced. Now we've got animals all around,
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especially these cats and some dogs.
So if you don't think that we're
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not in a last days, then
you're fooling yourself. If you don't think
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this climate change is out there,
then you're fooling yourself. And just keep
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your opinion to yourself, because I
don't know what more proof you need to
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know that the world is changing on
its own. So that was not what
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I was gonna We're talking about tonight. This is Older Americans Month, one
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of my favorite populations. Actually a
lot of my work, my nonprofit work,
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will be with dealing with my Americans, my Black American seniors, especially
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because I just feel that you know
they've lost that. You find families,
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You find elders who don't have family, You find people who never had children,
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they only had their siblings or their
cousins, and all those people are
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gone and they're trying to maintain in
their homes. They're trying to make do.
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If they have a pet, that
pet's gonna get more attention than they
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are. It is true, because
they will sacrifice whatever limited income they have
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to make sure their pets are fed
because that's the only living thing that keeps
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them company, that loves them unconditionally, that gives them the opportunity to talk
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with them. I mean, I
have my dog, she's over a year
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old. I talk to her all
the time, and she just be sitting
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there looking at me. I think
she understands what I'll be talking to her
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all the time. And I've got
family here, you know, But older
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Americans, I want to share some
scriptures with you first and foremost on how
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the respectability still needs to be maintained. I know other cultures highly highly esteemed
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their elders, highly esteemed their elders, and there's some cultures who've kind of
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lost it because they've moved away,
they've they have higher education, and and
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you know, they just don't seemingly
have the time for their loved ones.
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And you have to be very careful
about that. So I want to share
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some scriptures and the tray. I
need you to come on in and stables
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on your heart as well. So
Leviticus chapter nineteen, verse thirty two,
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thou'll share, rise up before the
hoary head and honor the face of the
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old man, and fear thy God. I am the Lord. And I'm
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gonna go and find a few more
want to share. There's one I'm gonna
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share at the very end. And
again we're talking about paying honor to our
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elderly. This is older America's a
month and it's should be forever. And
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I want to talk about some other
trends that has a main trend that started
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even before twenty twenty in our church, especially the Black church. And I'm
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gonna talk about that. So let's
go to Isaiah four to six and four
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even and even to your old age, I am he. This is God's
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speaking, And even to the whore
hairs h a r hairs. Will I
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carry you? I made you,
and I will bear even, I will
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carry and will deliver you to whom
you like and to me, make me
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equal and compare me that there'd be
none like. Who are you comparing me
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to? This is God's speaking,
and mainly to Isaiah, you know,
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and and and to the house of
Jacob. Let's see. Let me go
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to a New Testament scripture. This
was a good one here um first Timothy
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five and verses one through two,
rebuke not an elder, but entreat him
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as a father, and the younger
men as brethren, and the elder women
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as mothers, the younger sisters with
all purity. Let verse three honor widows
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that are widows. Indeed, but
if any widow have children or nephews,
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let them learn first to show piety
at home and to requite their parents,
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for that is good and acceptable before
God. God is watching you. Now.
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I know there's a lot of historical
things going on in families that are
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unforgivable. I get it. I
get it. But if you've got a
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senior and I've always said this,
if you are an adult child and you
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have an adult parents still living there
your responsibility. You've got to cross that
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bridge one way or the other,
one way or the other. And then
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I'm gonna go straight to Deuteronomy because
I want Trader come on in here and
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share some thoughts too. Deuteronomy five
or sixteen. Five and sixteen these are
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the commandments, and here it goes
honor thy Father and thy mother, as
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the Lord thy God hath commanded THEE
that thy days may be prolonged, and
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that it may go well with THEE
in the land which the Lord thy God
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giveth THEE. I understand, like
I said, there's issues. There are
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family secrets. There are family families
that I know that were not protected.
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There were a lot of ancestral things, nasty things going on in families.
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I get it, and I'm we're
so sorry for that. But you cannot
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live within that. You can't because
what it does is if there's a seed,
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now I'm to put my therapeutic hat
on. If there are unresolved issues,
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it becomes a seed. It's a
seed as emotional emotions are attached to
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it, Neurons are attached to it, behavioral traits, characteristics are attached to
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it. It plants itself in the
back, somewhere behind the spleen, underneath
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the kidney. It just stays there
and it festers, It grows, and
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then it provides itself a root that
you can't move it. But it affects
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every part of your human interaction with
other people and within yourself. You have
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to forgive, you have to put
it in a vault where it don't hurt,
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where it don't affect, and you
don't have to necessarily they've been there's
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a few people that I've had to
forgive before they passed away, and there's
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some one or two that's still living. And God would say, you forgive
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them in front of me. I
don't have to pick up the phone and
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call them. I don't have to
have them in my life. But I
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said, Lord, I forgive such
and such. I had to do that
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a lot with my husband who's deceased, had to do that over the years
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because it was still little pieces remnants
if you would charge, if you would,
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something would wake up a memory and
I'd be like, oh my God,
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why can't I get this man out
of my head? And all the
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you know, the mist treating and
everything else, the psychological abuse and everything.
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But I've had to forgive it because
I can't take that into any relationship.
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That's baggage. That's baggage. When
you've not been able to forgive somebody,
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that's baggage, and you take it, take it where ever you go,
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trade talk to us. Wow,
that's that's a great, great stought,
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Lysia. But um, what I
want to do. It's how fitting.
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So I today and right now want
to just say happy having a birthday
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to my father. He would have
been ninety two. So this is our
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first birthday without him, and him
without us. But you know, we
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know he's up there with my mom
and they are, you know, dancing,
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they love to dance, and you
know they're up there with family and
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other friends that had gone before them. So that's the way I have to
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look at it, and like it's
up until last year, we were his
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caregivers. So definitely wanted to make
sure that he had all that he needed
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while he was here. And I'm
pretty sure my mom was was living that
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she passed twenty years prior to him, that she would have wanted the same
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thing for us, to make sure
he was he was good. So you
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know, his daughters did it,
you know, and made sure he was
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all right and so put him away
the way he lived. Nothing solemn.
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The occasion was solemn because we missed
him, but the service itself was befitting
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of him. And so but just
just thinking about that, and then you
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know, people my peers now are
taking care of their parents. You know,
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some of them only had the one
parent living and so they're doing the
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best to take care of that parent, and I'm also trying to, you
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know, take care of the children
and other work and things, other things
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that come along with that. So
it's definitely, you know, I do
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believe that should be there for your
parents, you know, honor that mother
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and my father. So I do
believe that. So I think we've done
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that and and just now just just
trying to carry on in the way that
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they would have us too, you
know, not to pity and wallow and
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you know, we stuck, you
know, because they're okay, it's us
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that we were. We worry about
stuff, like you said, with a
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climate change, you know, the
animals just appearing out of nowhere. People
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the way they're treating each other,
it's it's it's ridiculous. And so we
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definitely need to stay prayed up,
Pray for strength, Pray for comfort,
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Pray for your neighbor, Pray for
the people that you don't care for.
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I don't like to say, hey, that's a strong word, but people
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that you don't care for, and
learn to let some things go because if
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you hold on to it doesn't I
think, but drag you down, make
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you feel you know, ill and
just does more to you. So just
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encouraging everybody to pray, pray for
strength and forgiveness of self too. And
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sometimes you have to forgive yourself because
sometimes you can be your own worst enemy
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and you know, blame yourself for
a lot of stuff. So I'm just
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trying to incorporate that that wellness pieces
as well. And so but yes,
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definitely just wish there were resources for
our seniors. You know, there should
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be no senior that's homeless, there
should be no senior that's hungry, and
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I wish there were no senior that
was alone, you know, and I
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know some places are doing shared housing. It's almost like the Golden Girls concept,
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you know, everybody pitching in a
little bit like a partnership. Can't
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afford the house by yourself, but
bringing other people that you might have,
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things that you're having common and creating
an environment like that, especially for our
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seen so maybe they won't have to
go into assistant livings or places that are
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not that I'm not the best.
So so that's one of the things I
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want to add amen to that.
And and my son just came in,
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so, uh, my baby's reacting
because she can't get to him, so
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please excuse me for the dog barking
and whining. She's okay, amen,
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but he's all right, thank you. But you know, yeah, Trey,
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I am so blessed that because I
took care of my parents, both
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of them, um, and and
and did it with joy and and and
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you know, um didn't even expect
anybody and wasn't looking for any help,
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even though I had another sister.
But she You know, everybody makes their
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decisions and they go their way,
and I take nothing for it. I
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can do it with my eyes closed. I can do it with limbs missing.
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I can if you need. I've
helped other people. I've helped client.
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My case slow when I worked at
the mental health facility was that of
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seniors and everything else and um,
and that was my main thing. Hang
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on a minute, and there goes
my screen and anyway, we can do
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this this way, um, but
hey god, we will make a way
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out of no way now because y'all
yeah, keep moving, look to the
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moving, keep the moving. Yeah
you do, yes, but um yeah,
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And and and to be able to
look back at that and to see
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that that commandment carried that much weight, You know that your days may be
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long. It's big, um,
you know, honor your mother and your
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father, and I want to I
think I've said this before. Now,
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I know some people get that really
mixed up because there have been some parents
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who not let the past go and
are buried. They've grown older, crotchety
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and mean and saying some things and
not letting the past go and all that.
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So then that adult child is having
difficulty trying to move past this.
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But they know that they want to
do the right thing. Well, the
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right thing may be able to get
them a caregiver, maybe able to get
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them some respect, may be able
to place them. My mom, I
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had to place her because I mean, but the Alzheimer's, you know,
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she lost control of even her faculties
as far as going to the bathroom.
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And I had unsavory cousins who knew
that my mom did not her memory was
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gone. So I come home at
lunchtime and the garage doors up. There's
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no reason for that to be up. Then I noticed towels are missing.
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I noticed things in the house are
missing. So I had no choice.
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I had to work. I had
a baby, I was married. I
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had to work, so I had
no choice. I contacted some colleagues,
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some of my colleagues who are in
the assistant living business, and I said,
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can you take my mom in This
is the only income she has.
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And then like, okay, not
a problem because they remember me from back
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in the day. Never burn your
bridges. You don't know what. You
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don't know when you're gonna be.
You know you're gonna you don't know where
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you're gonna need people. Go ahead, tray Yeah, you know, speaking
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on that too, I think maybe
trying to come up with resources, because
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sometimes you have to do what you
have to do. And and the thing
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is is it kind of push you
between a rock and a hard place where
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you have to make a decision like
that. You know, you had a
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you know, a child. I
didn't have any, and so schedules are
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different. My schedule was very fortunate
that I was able to to work around
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it. You know, I was
an independent contractor, so I was able
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to make it work. But there
are a lot of people that that don't
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have that luxury. So I was
blessed. And like I said, you
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have to do what makes it work
for you. And I just wish that
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the insurances, especially Medicare, would
would would step up their game because it's
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limited what they will provide as far
as support and and and the thing is
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they're quick to let you go into
a home and take everything you have,
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but if you could just they could
just provide the support if there's a home
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for the parent to be, and
just bring in resources into the home,
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you know what I mean. And
because I've seen some of those places,
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you know, system livings and nursing
homes, and I tell you, it's
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a scary thing. It's a scary
thing. And I have friends, Like
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I said, I have friends right
now that are caregivers and and that's a
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scary thing for them, you know. Um, but I just wish that
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that the insurances or Medicare would offer
a little more, especially if you know,
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with aid coming into the home or
uh you know, other other resources
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that are limited because they're not going
to pay. But but so much and
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uh, I was, you know, we were very fortunately because my dad
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was was military try military, so
we were able to pull those resources,
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which were better than not trying to
put anything down. But it was better
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than the other because he benefited more
from having both and we were able to
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supplement where one wasn't able to do
so, Like I said that, maybe
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I just need to figure it out, or maybe he has a resources because
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I know there are people out there. They are taking care of our family
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members, whether they're older or whether
they you know, uh, you know,
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handed the child that the parent couldn't
take care of, you know,
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grandparents raising the grandchildren, or siblings
raising their nieces and nephews, sibling older
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siblings raised on a younger sibling.
It just needs to just try to figure
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out how we can help them,
you know, because it's tough. It's
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tough, and it's taxing, and
it could be you know, financially taxing,
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emotionally and mentally taxing, and just
trying to find ways to to be
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able to bring more resources for families. You have to be very careful how
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you tread. I know a families
that were well off and they depended on
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their living parents a whole lot to
where they exhausted their their savings and things
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like that. Right so here it
is now you've been you've taken all the
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money because you've asked for a house, you asked for a car. They
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had to bail you out of jail. They're not They had to go into
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00:23:47.799 --> 00:23:51.440
their four or one K, or
their savings that they were hoping to save
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so that you wouldn't have to be
burdened. They saved and they put money
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away so you wouldn't have to be
burdened. But you've gone, you've you
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went through that. So now you're
kind of old them, and you need
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to be. If you got a
sibling, a sister or whatever, you've
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got a relative that can stay there, and then you need there comes the
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time you need to have the conversation
with your siblings. Okay, we're noticing
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something here. Mom is not as
agile and her memory is really going here.
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All right, so this is what
we're gonna do. There's seven of
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us, so we should put it
in twenty five dollars every paycheck, even
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if it's once a month. Let's
start. Let's get ahead of this thing.
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Don't wait until your mother gets in
the car and she's driving and then
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she calls her he says, I'm
lost. Don't don't wait till then start
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having a conversation. Now you see
what mom's going through. What we're gonna
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do. First of all, we
may need to get somebody in here at
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least three days a week, because
none of us are staying at the house,
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right, So with Mama's house need
to be clean. So what we
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need to do is rotate every weekend, we come in here and clean the
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house. We take terms. There
are seven of us living in the same
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city as Mom. Okay, so
you start having these conversations with your siblings.
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All right, put twenty five dollars
in the pot away for just whatever.
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Then all of a sudden, Moms, you know, she can't hold
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her yearing, she can't hold herself. She's she's having leakage issues. Well,
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start going to get on CBS Rewards
Club. You're on Public Rewards Club.
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You can get discounts on those things. Contact the area agency on aging.
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Contact your church. And speaking of
church, I'm gonna bring that up
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in a minute, but Cotton,
start talking and start getting filtering around.
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I just told my classmates on a
town hall meeting earlier this month. Look,
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guys, there's no there's no You've
got to be creative now for services
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00:25:55.319 --> 00:25:59.440
that it's done. Don't go looking
for no box thinking outside no box that's
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done, that's never existed. You've
got to go back in look at your
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community here in Central Florida. First, Baptist Church is buried is a very
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good resource, and they went several
years ago and was awarded over a million
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dollars grant. They hired a social
worker in the church to meet the needs.
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Okay, so now you go to
your church. You've been going there,
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you've been faithful with your tithe and
your offering any time the door is
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00:26:27.799 --> 00:26:32.559
open. Now you got to go
and talk to the pastor and to the
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00:26:32.640 --> 00:26:36.559
pastor assistant. I say I need
some help, I need some resources,
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I need some supplies. I don't
have supplies. I had an assistant living
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facility, a sixteen big facility that
I operated for three years. My biggest,
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the biggest, the biggest difference from
the former owner was everybody. Nobody
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could be in the house Monday through
Friday till after three o'clock. Everybody.
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You can, if you're able to
go to work, go to work.
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If you can't go to Goodwill or
go to some of these supplemental places,
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then you go to day treatment.
But you're not going to stay here during
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00:27:10.640 --> 00:27:12.640
the day and go and go to
the convenience store and get you a bit.
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Now we are having at it's a
new sheriff in town. But there's
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00:27:18.200 --> 00:27:21.319
things that you can do, and
you got to garnish your resources now.
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00:27:21.440 --> 00:27:25.559
So you call on churches and I
mean they may be able to just they
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00:27:25.599 --> 00:27:27.119
could go by to supplies. They
don't have to give you cash money,
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00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:32.720
but if you need diapers, or
if you need, you know, help
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with the medication. Even because it's
it's getting crazier, it's getting crazier.
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00:27:37.839 --> 00:27:41.680
But you got to have the conversation
with your siblings. I think I shared
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with you all. One of my
home health physical therapists would come and I
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00:27:48.680 --> 00:27:51.680
was like, I wo was just
share stories with what I've done over the
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years and stuff. And I said, you know what. She said,
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you know what, miss Gray,
I thank you. She's from the Philippines
347
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originally, but she hadn't been home
in a while, so they she and
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her brother and the kids and their
spouses were going home to the Philippines.
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And I said, okay, now, Marie, you gotta you know,
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maybe this is a great time for
you to have a conversation with your parents.
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Now they're getting up an age and
you know, nobody's their family wise,
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they just their siblings. You got
to have that conversation. She said,
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00:28:21.720 --> 00:28:23.039
I'm kind of nervous because you know, my mom don't like to talk
354
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about things. I'm telling you,
look at God. When she got back
355
00:28:27.039 --> 00:28:30.640
here, she said, Miss Graftin
hard await to come and sit visit with
356
00:28:30.759 --> 00:28:33.119
you. She said, you were
right, and guess what my mother brought
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00:28:33.200 --> 00:28:38.039
it up. She said, send
the kids outside. I need to talk
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00:28:38.079 --> 00:28:41.079
to you and your brother, me
and your daddy need to talk to y'all.
359
00:28:41.559 --> 00:28:49.119
They got property that Marie didn't even
know they had. Didn't even know
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it because they're surviving, they're thriving
in the Philippines. She said, this
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is what we want to do.
And Marie, you got to go back
362
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and get your dual citizenship because you're
gonna have to come back here if something
363
00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:07.079
should happen to us, and you've
got to have dual citizenship so they will
364
00:29:07.119 --> 00:29:11.519
have no problems giving you what.
But we're gonna split it right down the
365
00:29:11.599 --> 00:29:15.720
middle, and we're gonna we want
the grandkids to have a legacy. So
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00:29:15.880 --> 00:29:18.640
they took out a legal path.
Maria head, she said, Miss Gregg,
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00:29:18.680 --> 00:29:21.839
I was so nervous, she said, but all I can hear was
368
00:29:21.920 --> 00:29:29.359
your voice. You warned me,
You warned me, and I walked right
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00:29:29.440 --> 00:29:32.480
into it. My parents. Our
parents were ready to have this conversation.
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We don't have that sometimes in some
ethnic groups, parents don't want to talk
371
00:29:36.559 --> 00:29:40.160
about that. But the moment they
close their eyes, here come people coming
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in the don't no, no,
no, no no no. I'll tell
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people now lately locked the house down
after the repass, locket. Once y'all
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leave the field possession, locked the
house down, and don't you go back
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00:29:49.759 --> 00:29:53.839
there. You go to a hotel. While the relatives of in town who
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00:29:53.960 --> 00:29:59.039
never did anything with you and for
you. This is why I can look
377
00:29:59.119 --> 00:30:03.000
back in my life and I'm so
peaceful like you trade. You're gonna look
378
00:30:03.079 --> 00:30:04.480
back and you're gonna and you're gonna
say, wow, we did it.
379
00:30:06.519 --> 00:30:10.839
We kept our word, We did
it the way both of them wanted us
380
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to do it. And that gives
you such a piece. I've counseled people
381
00:30:15.640 --> 00:30:21.200
who live in that torment every day. And if the parents are have been
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golf for fifteen and twenty years because
they didn't treat them right in their last
383
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days. So this is this is
what I mentioned. Church, the Black
384
00:30:32.440 --> 00:30:37.799
Church here in Florida and Center mainly
in Palm Beach County and here in Center
385
00:30:37.880 --> 00:30:45.559
for these are personal stories I know
about where the the former pastor retires,
386
00:30:45.599 --> 00:30:51.440
a younger pastor comes in to take
his place. The first thing they do
387
00:30:52.200 --> 00:30:56.559
is take all the seniors who were
teaching Sunday school, who were helping in
388
00:30:56.880 --> 00:31:02.720
the children's church or in the daycare
part of the church, and set them
389
00:31:02.799 --> 00:31:08.480
down and you honor them once a
year. What you're doing for most of
390
00:31:08.519 --> 00:31:14.079
them, they're they're retired teachers,
they're retired business people. They're retired and
391
00:31:14.240 --> 00:31:18.640
the church activities kept them going.
And the first thing you do before after
392
00:31:18.720 --> 00:31:23.319
you introduce yourself, is sit them
down. So don't think that you could
393
00:31:23.359 --> 00:31:29.119
go to the church and there's active
stuff. The church long has long been
394
00:31:29.240 --> 00:31:33.839
changed over twenty years ago. So
the church is not the resource, but
395
00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:38.799
you can create the resource at the
church. You could you could do a
396
00:31:38.920 --> 00:31:42.119
survey. I'm getting ready to do
a survey and some of my black churches
397
00:31:42.200 --> 00:31:48.200
up here just five questions of their
members. What are your needs? What
398
00:31:48.319 --> 00:31:55.680
are your fears right now? What
are your fears? What are your concerns?
399
00:31:56.279 --> 00:32:00.480
And we're gonna take those, We're
gonna isolate them, and then we're
400
00:32:00.480 --> 00:32:05.160
gonna have a nice little meeting with
some powerheads here and said, do you
401
00:32:05.279 --> 00:32:10.240
know they out of ten churches here
who have at least seventy five of their
402
00:32:10.319 --> 00:32:16.279
congregation is over the age of sixty
five. They're living in fear because they
403
00:32:16.319 --> 00:32:22.039
can't afford the high mortgage. They've
refinanced the house because the kids needed the
404
00:32:22.119 --> 00:32:23.920
money. Now they're about to lose
their house. They're about to be put
405
00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:29.440
out of their home that they've had
for thirty years. I've got somebody very
406
00:32:29.519 --> 00:32:35.359
close to me that just that just
happened, and there's nothing I can do
407
00:32:36.720 --> 00:32:39.599
because the family has stepped in.
You don't want my help. I'm good,
408
00:32:39.960 --> 00:32:45.079
but I'm watching from afar. Over
thirty years, this lady had her
409
00:32:45.160 --> 00:32:51.480
house when nobody was catching the fact
that a memory was kind of going.
410
00:32:52.400 --> 00:32:57.960
She refinanced and did a reverse mortgage
on it. Nobody knows where the money
411
00:32:58.039 --> 00:33:01.559
went. But now a few weeks
ago they moved her out of her house.
412
00:33:07.240 --> 00:33:10.000
Now the bank don't want your money
your house. Just pay them back
413
00:33:10.039 --> 00:33:15.559
what is old to them. And
if you're using wisdom, you could sell
414
00:33:15.599 --> 00:33:19.920
the house and pay the bank back, pay the finance company back. They
415
00:33:19.960 --> 00:33:25.000
don't want to build, they don't
need another building. But because you're greed
416
00:33:25.519 --> 00:33:31.000
and your evilness and everything else.
I'm sorry, but that's real. That's
417
00:33:31.000 --> 00:33:39.039
a real story. I could put
names in that story. So you need
418
00:33:39.119 --> 00:33:44.839
to respect your elders. We've got
to go back to that. And you
419
00:33:44.920 --> 00:33:47.200
don't. Yeah, I know,
you don't come in and uninvited. You
420
00:33:47.400 --> 00:33:52.079
let them know I'm coming over,
even if their memory it comes and goes,
421
00:33:52.119 --> 00:33:53.839
and let me tell you something.
I don't know if Trey, if
422
00:33:53.880 --> 00:33:58.839
you had these moments, but there
were times when my mom with Alzheimer's,
423
00:33:59.400 --> 00:34:04.359
who not called me by my name
in four years, would clear and bring
424
00:34:04.519 --> 00:34:08.559
up a memory, tell you a
story, and it's real, it really
425
00:34:08.639 --> 00:34:14.719
happened. So they're listening. You
never know. They may be out of
426
00:34:14.880 --> 00:34:17.599
they look like they're physically out of
it, but you never know when they're
427
00:34:17.639 --> 00:34:24.960
clearing and they can hear what you're
saying. Be careful because I got twenty
428
00:34:25.440 --> 00:34:30.480
eight scriptures and probably twenty five of
those or where is where God or Jesus
429
00:34:30.639 --> 00:34:35.440
is talking and said, don't you
just don't, don't don't disrespect, don't
430
00:34:35.559 --> 00:34:40.840
mistreat the elderly, even the widow
I became a widow. Maybe one or
431
00:34:40.880 --> 00:34:45.880
two people reached out. Anybody else
reached out. Nobody said, hey,
432
00:34:46.000 --> 00:34:50.039
you know you need me to come
by and cut your lawn? Oh you
433
00:34:50.119 --> 00:34:52.480
need this? And how'd you call
you? You? You're good? No,
434
00:34:53.239 --> 00:35:02.719
had to keep I had to keep
moving. So I call anybody that's
435
00:35:02.760 --> 00:35:09.159
older than me mister or miss.
Still to this day, that's how I
436
00:35:09.280 --> 00:35:13.559
was raised. If you are a
couple of years older than me, miss
437
00:35:13.679 --> 00:35:16.599
miss, mister m Trey isn't.
I'm just gonna use it as an example.
438
00:35:16.679 --> 00:35:20.679
She ain't older than me. I'm
about to round that corner. But
439
00:35:20.840 --> 00:35:27.719
I said, miss Trey, how
you doing today? Okay? Respect?
440
00:35:28.880 --> 00:35:31.440
And this is why God blesses us. He don't go back on his word.
441
00:35:32.679 --> 00:35:35.880
He won't go back on He's not
a man that he would lie.
442
00:35:37.280 --> 00:35:43.079
So it's already in writing. But
you got to be careful. But it's
443
00:35:43.119 --> 00:35:45.639
not too late that resources that trade. Yeah, come on in, because
444
00:35:45.639 --> 00:35:50.679
I'm gonna talk about some creative resources
that you can do for your elderly.
445
00:35:50.800 --> 00:35:53.760
If you have a loved one that's
still you're still trying to keep them home.
446
00:35:54.159 --> 00:35:57.719
Here, let's talk about some things, Trey. Let's go back and
447
00:35:57.800 --> 00:36:00.000
forth. If we have to,
um, you know, what could people
448
00:36:00.119 --> 00:36:04.000
do? What was some of the
creating now like you already said that you
449
00:36:04.480 --> 00:36:09.480
were able to uh, you know, your your work. You could maneuver
450
00:36:09.639 --> 00:36:15.639
that enough to do yeah my worst. Yeah I can maneuver that. But
451
00:36:15.880 --> 00:36:21.000
I think too having having people that
are willing to step in, Hey,
452
00:36:21.079 --> 00:36:23.480
I can do a couple hours,
you know, or I can run the
453
00:36:23.719 --> 00:36:28.920
errand, or I can go you
know, shopping, or you know,
454
00:36:29.000 --> 00:36:30.840
it doesn't even have to be a
phone call and text. How are you
455
00:36:30.960 --> 00:36:35.559
doing? How is your parents all
right? The parents good? How are
456
00:36:35.679 --> 00:36:38.599
you doing? What do you need
to do? What do I need to
457
00:36:38.679 --> 00:36:43.519
help you with? You know,
those things? And then um, maybe
458
00:36:43.599 --> 00:36:47.840
somebody making a dish, taking it
over or just rest it to say hey,
459
00:36:49.079 --> 00:36:52.119
I got this. You go ahead
and get a little woosa from it,
460
00:36:52.480 --> 00:36:57.599
you know, or just little stuff. Doesn't have to be a whole
461
00:36:57.719 --> 00:37:00.480
lot um, you know, it
could be even matter taking out the garbage
462
00:37:00.559 --> 00:37:07.760
camp you know, up, yeah, just clean it. It doesn't it
463
00:37:07.840 --> 00:37:14.760
doesn't take a lot, right right, And company. I'm having company as
464
00:37:14.800 --> 00:37:17.960
well, so you know, if
you if somebody just coming over just say
465
00:37:19.000 --> 00:37:21.800
hey, I just want to just
visit with you and see, you know,
466
00:37:21.880 --> 00:37:25.599
because you don't have the ability to
go out per se, you know,
467
00:37:25.760 --> 00:37:31.239
but maybe just having company old and
hey, I'm bringing out and don't
468
00:37:31.280 --> 00:37:35.480
come to somebody, thank you.
Don't come to somebody house empty handed.
469
00:37:36.880 --> 00:37:38.760
Don't if you got it to do, because there are people who are on
470
00:37:38.880 --> 00:37:45.519
food stamps. M let's go there
and technically if we looked into at your
471
00:37:45.519 --> 00:37:52.280
income tax and tell something different.
So don't an elderly person's house if they
472
00:37:52.320 --> 00:37:55.719
handed take them a bag of grocery. Just take them a bag of grocery.
473
00:37:55.760 --> 00:38:01.400
You got the food stamps. Come
on, that's all it takes.
474
00:38:01.880 --> 00:38:05.599
And they'll tell you I didn't have
to do that. Say it's okay,
475
00:38:05.639 --> 00:38:08.000
but I'm just gonna put these little
portable meals in here so that all you
476
00:38:08.119 --> 00:38:12.039
have to do. I didn't know
what meals on wheels were. I mean,
477
00:38:12.119 --> 00:38:14.840
I use it as a resource,
right, but I didn't know it's
478
00:38:14.880 --> 00:38:17.280
just frozen food. That's a pop
pot. We can go to the frozen
479
00:38:17.320 --> 00:38:22.480
food section to do the same thing. Say exactly, I didn't even know
480
00:38:22.599 --> 00:38:25.639
that. I'm okay, I'm a
social worker. I didn't even know it.
481
00:38:25.719 --> 00:38:29.519
I said, waiting this frozen I
said, oh, this is like
482
00:38:29.599 --> 00:38:34.400
a pot pot here and public is
into the frozen stuff, baked potatoes,
483
00:38:34.480 --> 00:38:37.280
seafood, deluxe salmon, stuffed salmon
and everything. If you though it's about
484
00:38:37.400 --> 00:38:42.440
fifty thousand dollars now, but still
that's something they could take out, put
485
00:38:42.480 --> 00:38:46.039
it in a pan, heat it
up and have a good meal. Exactly.
486
00:38:46.559 --> 00:38:51.559
I'm a good meal exactly. That's
all you have to do. You
487
00:38:51.559 --> 00:38:53.840
ain't got to you know you and
take turns, Go ahead and say,
488
00:38:53.840 --> 00:38:59.000
you know what, I'm gonna seed
my time. Come on, God,
489
00:38:59.679 --> 00:39:06.320
I'm gonna seed a bag of grocery
every week for the next sixty days,
490
00:39:06.960 --> 00:39:09.719
for two months. I'm coming in
to Miss Harriet and I'm bringing a bag
491
00:39:09.760 --> 00:39:14.800
of grocery. She don't have to
ask me for nothing. Well I need
492
00:39:14.840 --> 00:39:15.559
to pay you, no, man, we do not. This is my
493
00:39:15.679 --> 00:39:19.400
seed and this is how to do
it. This, this is my seed
494
00:39:19.760 --> 00:39:22.039
to God. So you can't pay
me back. I'm waiting on him.
495
00:39:22.280 --> 00:39:27.440
That's his job. He'll pay me
back. And if you one, I
496
00:39:27.559 --> 00:39:30.639
think too. You know what,
if you're you know your loved one is
497
00:39:30.679 --> 00:39:36.719
no longer here, anything that could
be used to help another person's loved one,
498
00:39:37.360 --> 00:39:40.119
you know, it could be hospital
bed, It could be cheeks for
499
00:39:40.199 --> 00:39:45.480
the hospital bed. It could be
you know, just something that or productive
500
00:39:45.559 --> 00:39:49.239
feed up or you know, it
could be a wheelchair. You know,
501
00:39:49.360 --> 00:39:53.079
it could be something else that you
know that they didn't have access to,
502
00:39:54.079 --> 00:40:00.360
you know, to protective underwear,
you know that. And so you know,
503
00:40:00.519 --> 00:40:05.159
it's as small things. Give somebody
else, you know, give other
504
00:40:05.239 --> 00:40:07.760
people if you're not going to use
it, just get to other people with
505
00:40:08.280 --> 00:40:13.840
you know. Yeah, makes it
a little easier. Yeah, here,
506
00:40:14.000 --> 00:40:17.119
Salvation Army won't take stuff anymore if
it's over five years old. I've got
507
00:40:17.199 --> 00:40:22.800
my um myum my chair that's a
rising chair, you know, lift chair,
508
00:40:23.599 --> 00:40:25.719
and I've got it in my living
room right because I wanted to get
509
00:40:25.760 --> 00:40:28.800
me another one. I want to
get me a new one because it's a
510
00:40:28.840 --> 00:40:31.320
cloth one. But because of COOMD, they don't take stuff like that anymore.
511
00:40:32.360 --> 00:40:37.599
Check a system and I need to
find maybe a facility that could use
512
00:40:37.679 --> 00:40:40.159
it or whatever, you're right,
and have them come and get it.
513
00:40:40.840 --> 00:40:44.159
But they won't, you know,
but I have boots. I have the
514
00:40:44.239 --> 00:40:47.599
boot that when you know, when
my feet my toes were being amputated,
515
00:40:47.639 --> 00:40:52.159
I had to wear a boot.
But they won't take that. I'm trying
516
00:40:52.159 --> 00:40:58.800
to get my personal you know,
maybe somebody that personal, you know,
517
00:40:59.159 --> 00:41:02.880
may be people know my prosthetic.
People know I've got a root for a
518
00:41:04.000 --> 00:41:07.440
left leg, so left foot,
and it's a good one. I got
519
00:41:07.519 --> 00:41:09.159
two of them as a matter of
fact, you know, and I'm keeping
520
00:41:09.199 --> 00:41:13.039
them because I'm not gonna just give
I mean throw them away. No,
521
00:41:14.079 --> 00:41:16.639
no, no, no, I
definitely got you, Yeah, I definitely
522
00:41:19.559 --> 00:41:23.239
yeah. But it's like little I'm
just like little little stuff that could be
523
00:41:23.360 --> 00:41:28.800
you know, could be lotion or
you know, lotion that was a cream
524
00:41:29.000 --> 00:41:31.920
or something that would stick enough that
you know that you could give somebody,
525
00:41:32.559 --> 00:41:38.440
you know, this little little yeah. Yeah, because even now going forward,
526
00:41:38.519 --> 00:41:42.960
if I give anybody a Christmas gift, it's gonna be what I think
527
00:41:43.039 --> 00:41:45.760
you need. It's not gonna be
something like a sweater or a scarf.
528
00:41:46.000 --> 00:41:50.320
No, It's gonna be little things, little drinks, like you said,
529
00:41:50.440 --> 00:41:53.559
a bottle of good lotion that's got
lavender in it, an aloe in it.
530
00:41:53.719 --> 00:41:55.920
You know. I mean, I'm
gonna pick them up as you know
531
00:41:55.960 --> 00:42:00.440
they're in the little dollars bins or
whatever, or when they are on sale.
532
00:42:00.400 --> 00:42:04.079
I'm a part of the CBS Rewards
Club. I love. I always
533
00:42:04.119 --> 00:42:07.920
thought I love to get paid this
shop. And now I went invested into
534
00:42:07.960 --> 00:42:12.079
the ten dollars gift pass and that
you pay for that like once a year.
535
00:42:12.119 --> 00:42:14.920
You already and pay it back.
But I got your money back because
536
00:42:14.960 --> 00:42:20.159
you get ten dollars off every month, ten dollars free money. So I
537
00:42:20.280 --> 00:42:23.920
go in. I get that,
you know, I think too just just
538
00:42:24.239 --> 00:42:29.559
having like I said, some airphones
maybe. And the reason I'm saying that
539
00:42:29.679 --> 00:42:32.840
because you know, sometimes if you
love want to sleep or napping and you
540
00:42:32.920 --> 00:42:37.440
just want to put some music on
this kind of relaxing to you. You
541
00:42:37.559 --> 00:42:43.719
know that you just hear some of
the meditation music and something that's water sounds,
542
00:42:43.760 --> 00:42:47.440
it's to kind of take you away
from a temporary while allowing you to
543
00:42:47.519 --> 00:42:52.360
still be in the presence of your
loved ones, you know. So it's
544
00:42:52.400 --> 00:42:58.760
definitely a good good thing. You
know. Self care is still important,
545
00:42:59.400 --> 00:43:04.440
don't get us wrong. Self care
is still important, okay, but you
546
00:43:04.639 --> 00:43:08.320
also need to look out for that
aging person. I still I have a
547
00:43:08.400 --> 00:43:15.000
couple of my residents neighbors, actually
my residents, my neighbors here from my
548
00:43:15.760 --> 00:43:19.840
former place where I live, my
condo residential area, and I'm still in
549
00:43:19.920 --> 00:43:25.159
touch with them, and one sends
me a motivational peace every morning if she's
550
00:43:25.239 --> 00:43:29.159
up to it. And I had
to tell her, I appreciate it.
551
00:43:29.239 --> 00:43:31.480
I need that. And she was
surprised because he goes, you don't look
552
00:43:31.519 --> 00:43:36.280
like you need anything. I know
you don't understand. I need that motivation.
553
00:43:36.639 --> 00:43:39.679
I need that to be reminded because
I'm not gonna let everybody know what
554
00:43:39.800 --> 00:43:45.039
I'm going through. You know,
I woke up in pain today and I
555
00:43:45.159 --> 00:43:50.239
think it's and I'm learning that you
don't have athletes who've had fractures or breakage
556
00:43:50.320 --> 00:43:53.440
or stuff. The cold weather or
the rainy weather makes it. But I've
557
00:43:53.519 --> 00:43:58.159
got that. And so I was
like, Lord Jesus, but I can't
558
00:43:58.239 --> 00:44:00.800
I have my prosthetic appointment today.
They're working on my new you know,
559
00:44:00.920 --> 00:44:05.199
my arm with my new censors in
it, and I had to go.
560
00:44:06.079 --> 00:44:07.519
I had to go, but I
was a lymph. I was in pain.
561
00:44:07.599 --> 00:44:10.280
I said, Jesus, I need
you to touch this left knee please,
562
00:44:10.320 --> 00:44:15.440
because I got to keep moving here. You know, but prayer,
563
00:44:15.639 --> 00:44:21.199
praying just because they're eighty nine years
old does not exempt them from a prayer,
564
00:44:21.639 --> 00:44:25.079
does not exempt them from being prayed
for. Let them leave the prayer
565
00:44:27.199 --> 00:44:30.760
you know if you never know in
your conversation, you know, and there's
566
00:44:30.800 --> 00:44:35.679
something New's got some interesting stories.
I would love to be the best writer
567
00:44:35.800 --> 00:44:39.400
for them. Let's let's get let's
turn it into a book. You know,
568
00:44:40.239 --> 00:44:44.719
they're not just because they're sixty nine, sixty eight, seventy eight,
569
00:44:44.880 --> 00:44:49.519
seventy nine, eighty nine, ninety
two, ninety five. You don't put
570
00:44:49.599 --> 00:44:54.159
them out anywhere. Ye still and
if they're still here, there's still some
571
00:44:54.360 --> 00:45:05.000
wisdom that God wants them to impart
or for giveness to occur. And I'm
572
00:45:05.079 --> 00:45:08.480
telling you you will not live in
a night in a nightmare for the rest
573
00:45:08.559 --> 00:45:14.480
of your days because of how you
didn't step in and you didn't provide.
574
00:45:14.840 --> 00:45:17.559
Whatever you can do if you can
hire your home health aids. There are
575
00:45:17.639 --> 00:45:22.639
ten dollars an hour when they're working
at an agency, so you could have
576
00:45:22.760 --> 00:45:28.920
one coming in for two hours,
two times a week. That's ten twenty
577
00:45:29.000 --> 00:45:32.400
thirty, forty forty dollars. You
got three siblings and all of y'all make
578
00:45:32.480 --> 00:45:37.159
six figures. What's wrong with that
picture? What's wrong with that picture?
579
00:45:39.840 --> 00:45:45.480
And those of you who have children
and you know you need after care services
580
00:45:45.880 --> 00:45:50.679
for them. Okay, now this
is gonna get tricky. You don't just
581
00:45:50.800 --> 00:45:54.199
go drop the child. The children
off drip because grandma still got a house
582
00:45:54.760 --> 00:45:57.719
and they could just run around and
make no, no, no. You
583
00:45:57.840 --> 00:46:00.840
teach them how to clean up the
house, if you teach them how to
584
00:46:00.960 --> 00:46:07.519
respect their elders. And you make
sure because I mean, you know you
585
00:46:07.639 --> 00:46:13.000
possibly getting food assistance, you make
sure that this grocery in that house too.
586
00:46:16.559 --> 00:46:22.800
Provision. Stop taking for granted,
to taking advantage of people. Because
587
00:46:22.840 --> 00:46:28.440
I'm telling you, karma is or
you know what, that's the flesh,
588
00:46:28.519 --> 00:46:32.320
that's that's the natural warning. The
spiritual warning is you will greet with you.
589
00:46:32.440 --> 00:46:37.960
So you can have nine kids and
you treated your parents so bad,
590
00:46:38.400 --> 00:46:45.199
not one of them will come to
your aid, not one because they saw
591
00:46:45.239 --> 00:46:52.280
how you treated their grandparents. We
want to encourage you. We just want
592
00:46:52.280 --> 00:46:57.159
to encourage you. We will celebrate
you as you are an older American.
593
00:46:57.719 --> 00:47:01.599
We celebrate you. We stand on
your back. You forged a trail for
594
00:47:01.800 --> 00:47:06.800
us, whether you know it or
not. You provide a history for us
595
00:47:07.639 --> 00:47:10.360
some of us. We have your
DNA, we have your work ethic,
596
00:47:12.000 --> 00:47:15.880
we have your motivational ethic. The
least that I can do the least that
597
00:47:15.880 --> 00:47:22.599
I can do. Let's say thank
you, congratulate you, honor you as
598
00:47:22.719 --> 00:47:27.480
best as I can with what I
have, I can. We can do
599
00:47:27.599 --> 00:47:30.719
that. So we want to encourage
the audience. If you still have a
600
00:47:30.800 --> 00:47:37.280
loved one that's aging, we encourage
you to reach out to them, and
601
00:47:37.440 --> 00:47:42.639
you know they have needs. You
know they have needs, and a lot
602
00:47:42.719 --> 00:47:46.559
of them won't say that they have
needs. So you just go in with
603
00:47:46.719 --> 00:47:51.559
your bag or grocery, pay them
a visit, bring them some fresh flowers.
604
00:47:54.039 --> 00:47:57.840
You may even be able to find
a cleaning company that will give you
605
00:47:58.000 --> 00:48:01.760
a discount because of as an elder. And they come in, they clean
606
00:48:01.800 --> 00:48:07.119
the house, but on a hundred
dollars clean the whole house. You don't
607
00:48:07.159 --> 00:48:15.800
know until you ask, until you
reach out. So do it. Do
608
00:48:15.000 --> 00:48:21.960
it, our older Americans, we
salute you, We honor you, We
609
00:48:22.199 --> 00:48:25.360
pray for you, each and every
one of you. We still need you.
610
00:48:25.480 --> 00:48:30.440
If you're still here and you're in
your seventies and eighties, nineties,
611
00:48:31.280 --> 00:48:36.000
for some reason, we still somebody
still needs you. And it may be
612
00:48:36.159 --> 00:48:42.000
just to impart wisdom into their lives. Trade closes out. We only got
613
00:48:42.079 --> 00:48:45.039
one more minute, we got We
need a lot of wisdom here. We
614
00:48:45.199 --> 00:48:49.760
do need a lot of wisdom and
I think just learning all that you can
615
00:48:49.960 --> 00:48:52.719
from your loved ones, you know, about the past, family history,
616
00:48:53.679 --> 00:48:58.480
but also keeping them safe, you
know, finding a way to secure them
617
00:48:59.280 --> 00:49:01.480
so that no one in the home. You know that you'll be able to
618
00:49:01.559 --> 00:49:05.679
keep an eye on them some way, you know, because there are people
619
00:49:05.800 --> 00:49:08.360
that know what goes on. They
see movement in the household, even some
620
00:49:08.519 --> 00:49:13.119
people you know, your neighbors or
whatever, and it could be a some
621
00:49:13.199 --> 00:49:15.760
people don't live in the best of
neighborhoods, you know, where they watch
622
00:49:15.800 --> 00:49:21.159
out for older folks and have sympathy
and empathy for them. So find a
623
00:49:21.239 --> 00:49:24.679
way to secure them if no one's
gonna be there during a certain time of
624
00:49:24.800 --> 00:49:29.599
the day or not. So they
man got cameras and different ways you can
625
00:49:29.760 --> 00:49:34.519
communicate. So yeah, so that
I think this is a great show.
626
00:49:35.239 --> 00:49:38.360
And uh, and also for caregivers
and stuff. Don't beat yourself up.
627
00:49:38.960 --> 00:49:44.360
You're human. You get frustrated,
so just keep praying. Amen. Well
628
00:49:44.400 --> 00:49:47.920
that's our time. We're gonna have
a replay next week because it's it's Memorial
629
00:49:49.079 --> 00:49:52.000
Day weekend and we know we can't
even get you all attention, so we're
630
00:49:52.039 --> 00:49:54.559
gonna have a replay and you can
only hear it on the radio portions of
631
00:49:55.039 --> 00:50:00.320
Talk for TV and radio, so
you all be blessed. But we will
632
00:50:00.360 --> 00:50:05.960
see you in June, same time, same station. See y'all tonight,
633
00:50:06.519 --> 00:50:59.280
Good night by H.











































