Oct. 17, 2023

Domestic Violence Awareness

Domestic Violence Awareness

domestic violence, color purple, awareness vs call to action, economic changes, law, policy

Setting It Straight w/ Ms. Gray is broadcast live Mondays at 7PM ET.

Setting It Straight w/ Ms. Gray TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com)

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domestic violence, color purple, awareness vs call to action, economic changes, law, policy

Setting It Straight w/ Ms. Gray is broadcast live Mondays at 7PM ET.

Setting It Straight w/ Ms. Gray TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

Setting It Straight w/ Ms. Gray Radio Show is broadcast on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com).

Setting It Straight w/ Ms. Gray Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.

WEBVTT

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The topics and opinions express in the
following show are solely those of the hosts

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or it's employees or affiliates. Any questions

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or comments should be directed to those
show hosts. Thank you for choosing W

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FOURCY Radio. Well, good evening, good evening, good evening, and

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welcome to another fabulous opportunity. Dialogue, discussion, narrative, narration and storytelling

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of Setting it Straight with Mss Gray
with the three the two most beautiful.

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I'm gonna say three because I have
to include rebel. Three. We haven't

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seen rebel, but I'm gonna just
trust that. I'm gonna go with my

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instinct. Beautiful, talented, highly
motivated women of all time, all time.

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But before I say give a shout
out to them, let's pray.

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God. We just thank you,
and we praise you. We give you

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glory, for you alone are worth
it to be praised. Set your captives

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free. We hide behind the cross. This is your show. This is

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your time to speak to your people
unlike ever before. In Jesus name,

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we pray, Amen and Amen.
Hello, Trey, Hello Tomey. How

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y'all doing today? How are you
y'all talking at the same time. I

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don't know how y'all do that.
I just I don't know what who said

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what? But you sounds just alike, So I think we will try it

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again. Y'all all right, I'm
good, Thank you so much. Well,

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we give God praise today, and
let's have a moment of silence for

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Israel and what's going on over there. We're just gonna have a moment of

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silence. Thank you. You know, you don't like to hear about real

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war. You don't like to hear
about real war, even though it's been

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prophesied believers, if you've read anything
in your Word, if you've read the

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Bible, if you've been to a
church that really taught the word, this

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is nothing new. We just didn't
know the when. We didn't know the

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how, and we didn't know how
the impact was going to be. And

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we don't know because we don't know
the after effects, the aftermath so let's

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keep our you know, people,
let's just keep Israel in prayer and pray

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that. You know, I don't
even know how to pray about that,

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to be honest with you, I
can only pray God's will and whatever that

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is because you hear so many different
stories coming you know, growing up and

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everything, and you know, and
then you then you finally study the Word

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for yourself and you're like, oh
wow, okay, you know, and

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then it's like, God, I
don't even know how you want me to

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pray for that. I don't know
what you want me to How do you

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want me to pray? You know, because the Bible has to fulfill itself.

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The Bible pass to fulfill itself,
you know. So there's much loss

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every day now aside from that getting
calls or text messages, please pray for

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this family member. People are just
passing away every day here in the states,

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here in Florida, everywhere. They're
either being killed in an accident of

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some sort, or they're being shot
and killed, they're being murdered. I

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mean, just every single day,
somebody a family or the mother in law

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just passed and the uncle passed,
you know, two days from Apart from

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each other. Just I'm hearing it
all. I'm hearing it all. So

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we really need to be prayerful and
have your prayer points and be praying without

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ceasing. And God gave me revelation
about that. I've always been asked.

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I've asked in the past on my
journey, how long do you keep praying

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for something? How long do you
keep? And I've received I've told to

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some you know, spiritually minded people, faith minded people, and I got

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several different answers. You know,
so somebody will say, well, pray

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until you see it manifest, or
pray until you know, you know,

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just pray one time and just believe
God and pray, you know. And

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so I had to find out for
myself what that meant. And the Lord

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just gently laid this in my spirit
just the other day, pray without ceasing.

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That tells me that there should never
be a day, a moment in

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a day that we're not praying simple. We sometimes we take the walk of

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God, the walk of faith,
that make it so complicated and you can't

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even explain it. And because it's
so complex, and God is not a

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complex God, He's very simple.
Just just pray without ceasing and for me

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also a little further pray un to
you believe that it's going to happen.

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Keep praying, not the prayers,
not so much for God to answer,

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but for you to keep praying the
same thing, same request, same what

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concern, until you believe He's gonna
answer, and it's gonna come the past

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and whatever comes to past, it
is God's answer, and you stay at

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it. But but you don't stop
praying until you don't until you believe it.

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When you believe it, why you
need to pray about it. It's

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already in his hands. It's already
in his hands. Well anyway, that's

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that's it. I've got a few
updates. I've been telling you some new

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people who normally don't watch the show
about the three day, three person feeding

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program, God's feeding program for this
month, and they're very everybody I've mentioned

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it too, they're like, oh
my God, Okay, it's it too

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late. Nope, you got to
the thirty first. So we're gonna probably

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next in the next week or two. We're gonn definitely hear from some folk

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and be able to come back and
do that, you know. But God's

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good and I'm just excited what He's
gonna do because you know, the best

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is yet to come. The best
is yet truly to come. So as

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you all know, as some of
you can see, some of us have

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on purple lavender. We're in the
colors spectrum of purple. Because we're gonna

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be talking about domestic violence awareness and
I'm gonna say one little thing and then

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I'm gonna let the ladies come on
in. Just like we've said about awareness,

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Awareness is because nobody seems to be
doing anything about things, so you

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highlight it. I don't know where. I don't know if Trey, you

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have this history of where Domestic Violence
Awareness Month came from. What's the significance

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of October being deemed that you know, to be deemed for that awareness?

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I don't know. And if you
don't have it, you can. We

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got, you know, a couple
of more mondays. You could, you

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know, bring that history to us. But I don't know why they chose

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October. Why was October chosen?
And I think that's gonna be a good

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piece. I'm sorry we didn't bring
this up in our brainstorming session, but

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that's something I think that people would
need to, you know, know,

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because that would make it more personable. Uh, it make it more like,

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oh, okay, okay, that's
where that came from. Is this

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the month that is the highest statistical
rating incidents all over the world? Is

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October a hot month for this?
I've heard everything for over the years.

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But if you can, if you
find something you know, please, you

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know, just hop in and share
that. If not, we can hold

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that, then we can bring that
up next week. Uh, nobody should

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be hitting nobody. Nobody should be
hitting nobody. You be careful with that

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because you know kids will take that
thing and say, looking at mama,

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nobody should be hitting nobody. Well
you know what the sad thing is now

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that goes back to you the way
you raised that child. Because I was

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in publics and I heard this little
boy trying to plead the case why he

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wanted six different cereals, and I
can only walk by. I didn't make

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eye contact with the mother, but
but I noticed she went to the wine

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out also before she left and got
in the line, so I can see

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why. And they did. And
I don't know if it was AARP or

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somebody did say that alcohol, a
purchase of alcohol has spiked in these last

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two months, spiked, So yeah, no, No, depending on how

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you were raised. No. Now, my kids were disciplined. That's a

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whole different story. Has nothing to
do with this time. Domestic violence.

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If you're in a relationship, if
you can't keep your hands to yourself,

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then you don't need to be around
nobody. You just don't. You don't

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need to be You don't need to
be around people, and you don't need

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to be pursuing relationships because you can't
handle yourself. You have no control over

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yourself. You've got unresolved issues,
you've got unforgiveness, you've got whatever you

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saw your you saw it firsthand.
You were traumatized, and for some reason

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you think that that's the best way
I should have known. I was in

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a little trouble forgot what year my
second marriage it was, and I asked

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my husband one night. We were
having a good week that week, so

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I asked him. I said,
I need to ask you a question.

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With your mom and dad would go
at it. I mean hitting frighten with

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frying pants and whatever they can put
their hands on. Whose side did you

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take because he's a mama's boy.
He was a mama's boy, you know.

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Not A series in depth, deep
mama's boy. But he was a

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mama's boy. So I was asking
and he wouldn't answer me. He couldn't

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answer me. He couldn't answer me
because I was I mean, you know,

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this is not no one time hit. This is you know, adultry,

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all kinds of stuff, and this
is weekly fighting, daily fighting,

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and all this kind of stuff.
Whose side would you take? But yet

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you could hit me? You promised
me. I was able to give us

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some food this weekend. I went
to a bridge where some people may be

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taking shelter. I gave two food
meals, drinks, veggies, meat,

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and dessert. Yes, mistay,
who I don't have any I wish I

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had some cleanings. I was able
to give dinner this week. And I've

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told people about this assignment and they're
going to try to get their three and

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tell more people about that country corners. All right, thank you, you

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go. I's gonna bless you guys. We can make our little noise that

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part of anoise. Yes, da
dah da da da da da da da

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da da. There you go,
Thank you God, Thank you guys.

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Oh, God is gonna bless I'm
telling you you just don't know just because

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you purposed the thing to do.
And then you've gone, You've carried it

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out. It was on your agenda, you were planning it. You strategically,

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mister, strategically went to the spot, you know, and the country

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corners you did the same thing,
you know, You strategically went. You

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had it in your mind. Oh
God's gonna blow y'all gonna get all the

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blessings wherever where your states, wherever
you live, you gonna get some blessings

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this bench because we're still under open
heaven and God is gonna bless you.

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And this is how we put a
dickt in hunger. Country has this two

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weeks. Country has done it two
weeks in a row. Two weeks.

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Yes, yes, yes, so
God bless you. Thank you all for

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that. Thank you. But yeah, you know, going back to this,

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and you, I mean you and
you also be careful too when you're

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dating and you're getting real serious in
a relationship and you start asking each other

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those those real hard questions, you
know, and about expectations out of the

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relationship and things like that. This
is for me. The ladies don't have

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to agree. They have no idea
what I'm about to say, but this

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is for me. When a man
has to say to you, a man

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that you're dating has to say to
you. You know, I don't hit

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women. I used to think that
was a cheval chev, you know,

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a chivalry. You know, that
was a real good thing, you know.

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Okay, it came from nowhere.
We weren't talking about it or anything

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like that. All of a sudden, they you know, I don't.

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I'm not gonna hit a woman.
I got sisters. That's a trigger.

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Now, that's a trigger. That's
a yellow flag for me, because that's

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what I was told. That's what
I was assured of. We were just

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friends. I was assured of that. And because you didn't even care,

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We're in front of the kids and
you haul off and hit me because you

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didn't like my decision and didn't come
home that night or whatever. And I

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was like, and I told his
mother, I said, I tell you

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what, if it happens again,
he's going you're going to get a call

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from the hospital. I won't be
calling here, but you will get a

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call from the hospital. And he
tried it once more, but I was

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standing over a boiling pot of rice, specifically, and that was before Medea's

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movie came out. I was raised
by country people. Okay, they will

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take a break, but am I
don't want to make this a happy topic.

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We got to find we got to
find some relief here because times are

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getting hard and they're not going to
Some things are not turning around. It's

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just not meant to be. And
if you cannot control, if you don't

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care, I don't even know what
to call it. Ladies, y'all come

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on in. I'm getting twisted up
here. Okay, let's say we can

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untwist you lisha but one thing about
domestic violence awareness. I think that's my

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passion to bring awareness because it occurs
so often, and you know, we're

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often reading about this person or that
person died at the hands of someone that

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was close to them, that they
were in a relationship or had a relationship

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with. And I think when the
balls down to it, it's communication.

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You know, people are quick to
shoot because you don't know how to use

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your words. People are quick to
hit you don't know how to use your

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words. And I think boiling down
to understanding what is causing you to do

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that. I mean, because people
will say, well, why did you

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know? And I've heard it before, well what made them hit you?

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Doesn't make a difference. They shouldn't
have had the hands on you. I

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don't care what the reason is.
You shouldn't have your hands on you.

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And especially if you're too adult,
you should be able to communicate without that,

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you know, I tell people,
look after a certain age, when

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did you think you were too old
to get a spiking? So if you

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were too old for your parents or
spik you, why you're going to let

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another person do the same thing to
you? And so? But like I

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said, it all boils down to
being able to communicate when you're angry,

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when you're frustrated, when you're overwhelmed, because typically these things lead to the

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mass didviolence if you're not able to
control it, and then enhances by by

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drinking or other substances that alter your
thinking. The same way, A lot

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of times said, well he'd been
drinking or she'd been drinking and she hauled

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off and did that and the other
stuff. Well that person and it's just

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not a bashing. I don't This
is one thing I want to bring awareness.

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If you find yourself that you are
quick tempered, and you notice that

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and people tell you that, and
every time you drink and every time you

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do this, your anger results in
hurting someone either emotionally, mentally, physically,

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whatever the situation is. Just take
us look at yourself, because I

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know abuse produces abusers. So when
I first got in the game, in

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the game doing this learning about it. Typically a young female female watching her

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mother gets abused, nine times out
of ten, she's gonna be with an

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abused partner. An abusive partner.
If the male witnesses the abuse and the

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by the father, nine times out
of ten, he's more likely to become

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an abuser. And so it's not
gonna stop until someone learns to communicate.

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And if you feel like just walk
away from the situation, you know,

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just walk away. And it's on
both parts, and it's on both parts.

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Sometimes people are not agitated to that
point. But at some point you

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got to let it go. If
you're that angry and you feel like you're

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going to result to separate, go
to each neutral corner, for lack of

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a better term, breathe wo saw
and when you're ready, let's talk.

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But we don't even teach communication.
We don't teach that. They don't know

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how to communicate. In the schools, they don't know how to communicating.

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The homes they don't know how to
communicate. In the community. They don't

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know sometimes don't know how to communicate
in the church, you know, these

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places, places of work, you
know, employment, they don't know how

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to communicate. And at some point
there needs to be communication. One on

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one. Listen because you can hear
all day, but you need to listen

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because sometimes if you talking too much
or not listening to what someone's saying,

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you can accuse them of doing things. You know what I mean, It's

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like myscal screw what someone is saying. That's because you want to think that's

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what they're saying. Listen, take
it in, breathe, then response.

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Maybe we can do that or you
know, on one of the shows or

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something. But communication, I think
is a key to a lot of the

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violence that's taking place. When I
was coming up, it wasn't shoot.

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It was put up your dukes and
that both people walked away. You might

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one might have a black eye,
you might have screat but you walked away.

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It wasn't all this shooting and stuff
like that and other folks getting innocent,

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and was one on one and then
after that, let's call it quits,

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and then you were friends the next
day or a couple of days or

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whatever the situation. It was not
any of this, which is ridiculous.

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It is ridiculous because you can't bring
anybody back once you once they're gone,

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and you're watching television and thinking because
you shoot somebody or whatever. These video

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games that are violent, vinegar video
games, you have to watch them with

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some maturity as well. And no, look, this happens on a video

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game, but in real life,
if I do that, this person might

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not get off, get up,
and then you're remorse for when it comes

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time at court because you didn't mean
to do it. Take time to stop,

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think and react versus just act on
impulse. Thank you, tray for

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them and Temmy, I want you
to come in. But you know,

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as you were talking, I had
this. I had a flashback. I

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think it was my first year of
teaching at the Christian College here in Orlando,

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and some of the reports the students
were assigned a writing assignment and it

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would be three to five pages or
whatever. The reports I got back.

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I was like these people and I
would look at the person and I'm like,

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they're not just they just didn't recently
graduate from high school. I'm going

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somewhere with this. I'm like,
my goodness, how did they even get

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out of high school? What were
they taught in school? You can't even

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write a legible paragraph. And these
are people who are older. And when

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you were going back, when you
were talking about the communication piece, we're

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not taught. I hear some of
these teachers. And we've got some great

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teachers out that, don't get me
wrong, but some of these teachers,

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I mean, they're so frustrated.
They're so on the edge, not only

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because it was in the classroom,
but what they left that morning at their

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home and what they have yet to
go back to, and especially if they're

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not you know, their check is
not even paid half the bills and they

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got to go work apart. I
told y'all at the elementary school, the

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kids and twins went to a dollar
went too. When we first got here,

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every teacher but the principal had a
part time job. Even a guid's

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counselor everybody had one. So I
mean, so there's these frustrations. So

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this teacher is trying to get these
benchmarks. Sheer heat. They know what

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they have to do per week.
They've got the lesson plans and stuff like.

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That's how they're being checked. And
all this you added on society is

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adding more frustration into the classroom so
that the kids are missing out on basics.

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We don't even have. We don't
even have cursive writing anymore. We

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don't my son, one of my
sons, like Mike, you like cursive

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if I can't understand it. So
you're communication. We're not even taught communication,

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even on the college level, the
master level, on the doctoral level.

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You should hear how some of my
folks be responded to the professor and

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my concerns you, right, nobody
knows how to talk. Nobody has to

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know. Nobody knows. Oh,
breathing, Breathing can really. Breathing shifts

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your mind for a millisecond. It
calms that brain down when you're inhaling and

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you're focusing on that breath. And
I'm telling you it works. Three breaths,

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three strategic breaths works. I'm telling
you it does. It switches that

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brain from a millisecond so that they
can then you can hear, then you

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can you can focus and for a
minute things are clear for a minute.

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But it also is opposite when you
got all this stimuli, all of this

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going on in your brain. You're
right communication, but nobody's talking. Nobody

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wants to teach, and the church
needs to teach the talk communication skills.

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Every pastor that's got a church still
open today need to have marriage and couple

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counseling opportunities. Have have date not
in the church this and husbands, what

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are you doing? Why is what
are you doing? Separate them, bring

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them back together, do role plays
and things like that, because after a

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while, you've been married for twenty
five years and you're looking at each other

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like what Mike, I'm bored now
the kids are gone and look what I

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And then there was a lady she
had to be Oh my god, you're

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at Public's. She said, cashier. I don't know what I had said,

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but she said, hey, yeah, I had no choice. I

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had to come back to work.
She had to be in her late seventies.

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She had to be. She said, I've retired twice and I still

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had to come back to work.
So societal ills, not to make it

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any better, is going are going
to be here. Okay, so that's

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over there. I can only run
what's in here. I can only do

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and put my best foot forward.
And yes, I have to use my

308
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words sometimes like what But I have
to check myself. The Bible said judge

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yourself so you won't be judged.
Check yourself. If you're not feeling good,

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if you're not being you're not able
to clarify and make sense of some

311
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stuff. Maybe that's not for you
to understand. Leave that over there.

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Who brought it to you in the
first place, because you know a dog

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that will bring a boat will carry
one to And if you're not the person,

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if you're tired of people, I'm
telling you me having my phone off

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these past few weeks, I have
it on mute. I have to look

316
00:25:38.839 --> 00:25:41.759
over there, and if it's singing, I can doze off. Whatever it

317
00:25:41.799 --> 00:25:45.680
was, it's been so peaceful,
and I didn't realize how much it was

318
00:25:45.759 --> 00:25:52.200
messing with my mind. On top
of going to school and not being accepted

319
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into school and not being like because
of your faith. So the world is

320
00:25:56.720 --> 00:26:02.880
gonna do its thing. The world's
gonna do and say, what's your room,

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what's your reason for living? What's
your part in this? And how

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00:26:07.240 --> 00:26:11.200
often do you attain to that?
And do you pray for others? I

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00:26:11.240 --> 00:26:15.000
finally had to give it up and
stop being road raging in my car people

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gonna eat my pupper if they want
to. So you know what, God,

325
00:26:18.519 --> 00:26:22.599
please keep me safe. I don't
want nobody hitting my car. I

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don't want to be putting taken to
the hospital. I don't want that.

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But you know what, God,
I'm tired of yelling at myself and watching

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these people. Later was doing this
and driving. I'm at a full stop,

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full traffic, like I'm looking in
my rear view. She had the

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phone here not here, in her
hand, and the phone the car is

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still moving. I said, God
help me, Oh my God, Jesus,

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and I could get her attention,
and she just and she stopped.

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I didn't see her top hood,
her hood, I saw her dashboard.

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That's how close she was to me. And I get it. You got

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00:27:00.519 --> 00:27:04.319
y'all gotta to clear your minds.
You gotta clear your minds. You got

336
00:27:04.400 --> 00:27:10.680
to because most of these people are
walking around just waiting to erupt, just

337
00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:15.640
like these volcanoes that after one hundred
years, no movement, no nothing.

338
00:27:15.680 --> 00:27:18.440
They people walk by and laugh.
Then they hasn't erupted and know it.

339
00:27:18.559 --> 00:27:22.920
Forty years, fifty years, one
hundred years volcano. Say okay, I

340
00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:26.119
got something such I got something for
you that and when it comes, it

341
00:27:26.200 --> 00:27:33.359
comes out and it destroys everything miles
around. That's how we are when we

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00:27:33.400 --> 00:27:37.880
can't, when we just burst.
You're so full, and we talked,

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00:27:37.920 --> 00:27:41.599
we've been on the show. Try
to give you our ideas of how to

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00:27:41.640 --> 00:27:47.640
calm down. You can't change the
world, get that out of your mind,

345
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but you could do your part.
Every night I go to bed,

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I've done my part and I don't
even even left my house. I'm praying

347
00:27:55.440 --> 00:28:00.480
for somebody. I'm answering. I'm
responding to something I did. I do

348
00:28:00.519 --> 00:28:04.799
my part every day. Do your
part every day, and just you know,

349
00:28:06.039 --> 00:28:10.000
just just y'all got it's getting worse. It's not gonna get any better.

350
00:28:10.480 --> 00:28:15.480
They just made the announcement social Security
increase for January. Everybody, Oh

351
00:28:15.559 --> 00:28:19.640
yeah, but Medicare gonna take the
three percent. Yeah, we're gonna get

352
00:28:19.640 --> 00:28:23.480
a three percent raise. It's gonna
be in writing, but Medicare will take

353
00:28:23.519 --> 00:28:30.920
the three percent. So calm down, figure out how you gonna do this.

354
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Now, stop living robbing Peter to
paper people. This past week more

355
00:28:37.480 --> 00:28:41.960
people are living in their cars.
They passed right by me. I said,

356
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oh my god, everything is in
the car, packed up windows.

357
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You can't see nothing. I said, oh God, they're living out of

358
00:28:47.160 --> 00:28:52.720
the car. But some have found
peace with that. They don't have to

359
00:28:52.759 --> 00:28:53.960
pay no rent. They ain't got
to come up with all this money.

360
00:28:55.079 --> 00:28:56.240
They can go over here to take
a shower, they can go over here

361
00:28:56.240 --> 00:29:00.000
to pick up their mail. They
can go over here on Tuesday nights.

362
00:29:00.079 --> 00:29:03.599
Thursday nights, some restaurants have kids
eat under ten or under eight or under

363
00:29:03.599 --> 00:29:06.799
five eat free. I mean,
they got it all down pat and they

364
00:29:06.839 --> 00:29:11.680
are happy. Are I love those
people because they're not gonna take nothing out

365
00:29:11.720 --> 00:29:18.039
on anybody. They've made a decision
and they're standing on it. But being

366
00:29:18.160 --> 00:29:26.279
angry and walking around just you don't
have a headache, your body physically will

367
00:29:26.319 --> 00:29:30.279
start to respond to that, and
you need to stop. Look at that

368
00:29:30.359 --> 00:29:33.599
again. That little thirteen year old
boy two weeks ago run it if you

369
00:29:33.599 --> 00:29:40.000
see run into the car knowing where
the gun was and thought that that's the

370
00:29:40.039 --> 00:29:42.160
best way over. I still don't
know what was to deal with the back

371
00:29:42.200 --> 00:29:47.960
of potato chips. Did they take
the last brand that he liked? Did

372
00:29:47.960 --> 00:29:49.480
they snatch it out of it?
Because you know how kids are, they're

373
00:29:49.519 --> 00:29:52.319
playing and tuggling or whatever. Did
they snatch it. I don't even know

374
00:29:52.400 --> 00:29:56.680
what happened, but all we know
it was over a back of potato chips.

375
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And when you look at the footage, that boy is looking turning back

376
00:30:00.119 --> 00:30:03.559
and when he wasn't turning to see
who was coming after me, I don't

377
00:30:03.599 --> 00:30:04.720
know. And the mother was right
off to the side, so she saw

378
00:30:04.839 --> 00:30:08.559
him run by. She don't know, have no idea what's on his mind,

379
00:30:08.799 --> 00:30:11.640
opens the car, She don't know
nothing. Until he turns around and

380
00:30:11.680 --> 00:30:17.279
that gun is pointed. He didn't
run and do this. The gun was

381
00:30:17.279 --> 00:30:19.920
pointed when he turned around, and
she's like trying to catch him, and

382
00:30:21.039 --> 00:30:27.960
he was already shooting. So let's
talk. Let's interview him. How how?

383
00:30:29.240 --> 00:30:33.480
Why? What? How? Why
do you? Why did you feel

384
00:30:33.519 --> 00:30:38.000
that getting the gun was gonna resolve
everything? But all of those people out

385
00:30:38.039 --> 00:30:41.559
there, I could see. It
was an empty street and it was just

386
00:30:41.680 --> 00:30:44.519
you and your homeboy, your little
boy, you know, your little friends,

387
00:30:44.720 --> 00:30:47.480
just the two the three of y'all
walking and you got mad and you

388
00:30:47.480 --> 00:30:51.799
saw your mama car. I don't
know. He was not thinking, he

389
00:30:51.880 --> 00:30:55.039
had he didn't care. And then
in court he's crying, like, y'all

390
00:30:55.079 --> 00:31:00.559
need to let me go. I
know I go all over the place and

391
00:31:00.599 --> 00:31:03.319
I'm sorry. That's the social worker
and be sorry about that, guys,

392
00:31:03.599 --> 00:31:08.640
but you gotta y'all got to take
responsibility. You've got to forgive. You

393
00:31:08.720 --> 00:31:11.440
gotta let it go. If it
didn't happen the way you needed to,

394
00:31:11.799 --> 00:31:15.640
maybe it wasn't meant to be.
Now you need to look at how can

395
00:31:15.680 --> 00:31:18.480
I change this? Okay, I
can't go back at you. I play

396
00:31:18.599 --> 00:31:21.359
Solitaire and I was like, oh, oh, okay, that didn't do.

397
00:31:22.079 --> 00:31:23.839
But I keep hitting the redo button
and it said, no, it's

398
00:31:23.880 --> 00:31:27.079
gonna be supposed to solve this one. This is not no. You know

399
00:31:27.240 --> 00:31:30.160
this is not unsolvable. You got
to solve it. So I go back

400
00:31:30.200 --> 00:31:33.400
and I retraced my steps. I
said, no, I'm not gonna move

401
00:31:33.400 --> 00:31:36.920
that car, and I move this
car, and usually I get my It's

402
00:31:36.920 --> 00:31:40.279
just like a what you call it
a maze. You know, I can't

403
00:31:40.319 --> 00:31:42.799
go that way. I'm gonna go
this way. I don't know, Tommy,

404
00:31:42.880 --> 00:31:49.680
talk to us. Well. I
want to say, first, like

405
00:31:49.759 --> 00:32:00.319
you said, train in unisons,
you gotta be slow to speak, think

406
00:32:00.359 --> 00:32:07.359
about before you speak, because a
lot of times if you don't think about

407
00:32:07.480 --> 00:32:12.559
what you're saying, you'll take that
same idea that young man thirteen year old

408
00:32:12.599 --> 00:32:15.559
did and act before he even thought
about what he was about to do.

409
00:32:16.599 --> 00:32:22.319
Where would he be at today if
he didn't make that decision. You'll be

410
00:32:22.480 --> 00:32:29.599
home, but you're not home now
and you probably won't see home for a

411
00:32:29.880 --> 00:32:38.119
very long time. And unfortunately Mama, daddy or grandmama or whoever to try

412
00:32:38.160 --> 00:32:43.640
to get you out on a bond, they got to give up a whole

413
00:32:43.640 --> 00:32:46.599
lot, and they got to pay
a whole lot because you got to have

414
00:32:46.640 --> 00:32:55.000
an attorney, and they're not cheap. Our paychecks don't increase, but everybody

415
00:32:55.039 --> 00:33:01.680
else fees increase. Just like you
said with Medicare, Medicai gonna get at

416
00:33:01.720 --> 00:33:07.640
three percent, but Medicaid, medication
something doesn't hyped more than three percent.

417
00:33:09.359 --> 00:33:17.680
So you're gonna feel that. And
when you were saying about communication, social

418
00:33:17.759 --> 00:33:27.200
media takes communication. When you look
at social media, everybody hand is down.

419
00:33:29.359 --> 00:33:32.440
You can't you see people walking across
the street and they had they don't

420
00:33:32.480 --> 00:33:38.839
even know whether they say walk or
stop. They had down. I remember

421
00:33:38.880 --> 00:33:45.440
one time we were we had went
to a run in Saint Augustine and we

422
00:33:45.519 --> 00:33:49.160
went to eat and crack a barren
we had to wait. We were sitting

423
00:33:49.200 --> 00:33:54.119
on the little s like swing outside
the door, and I don't know,

424
00:33:54.279 --> 00:34:00.119
I think we were looking for something, and so we were all googling and

425
00:34:00.119 --> 00:34:04.559
then everybody had them down and a
man came say, put them phones down,

426
00:34:04.559 --> 00:34:10.280
and y'all just talk. Not that
he knew what we were doing,

427
00:34:12.239 --> 00:34:20.480
but it's just the point of everybody
head down if we take time to communicate,

428
00:34:22.320 --> 00:34:28.719
slow, slow to speak for quick
to listen. And like my aunt

429
00:34:28.800 --> 00:34:34.239
always say, God gave us two
ears, but it gave you one mouth.

430
00:34:36.199 --> 00:34:43.320
So that means you should hear more
and speak less. And it's easy

431
00:34:43.440 --> 00:34:49.760
to say that. But society,
our parents, like you said, our

432
00:34:49.760 --> 00:34:58.159
parents need to take responsibility for our
kids. Nobody's teaching them anymore. And

433
00:34:58.239 --> 00:35:04.280
you are right. There's a lot
of kids gon fall through the cranks because

434
00:35:04.320 --> 00:35:10.559
they have made it so difficult for
the teachers to retain because that child don't

435
00:35:10.599 --> 00:35:19.000
know A to B or even adding
three sets and you know three numbers top

436
00:35:19.039 --> 00:35:25.639
and bottom. They're trying to teach
a multiplication. But parents, I tell

437
00:35:25.800 --> 00:35:32.000
anybody, teacher starts at home.
It don't start with the teacher, It

438
00:35:32.039 --> 00:35:37.159
starts with the parents. Were the
one brought them in. We're the one

439
00:35:37.199 --> 00:35:43.960
responding that teacher is not responsible for
that child. We are. So we

440
00:35:44.039 --> 00:35:51.599
gotta start teaching first, leading by
example, like you said, if Mama

441
00:35:52.000 --> 00:35:55.960
Dayton, or mama married, or
dad and Mama dad learn to talk to

442
00:35:57.039 --> 00:36:01.039
each other and not Yale, because
that child becomes the product of his environment.

443
00:36:05.639 --> 00:36:09.599
And when they become a product of
their environment, Yes, the girl

444
00:36:09.679 --> 00:36:14.159
gonna think I am supposed to be
here because that's how my mama was.

445
00:36:14.480 --> 00:36:16.320
The boy gonna say, yeah,
I'm supposed to hear because that's what my

446
00:36:16.400 --> 00:36:25.079
daddy did. We are a product
of our environment and not realizing with teaching

447
00:36:25.119 --> 00:36:31.480
them the wrong things instead of the
things they need to be taught. And

448
00:36:31.519 --> 00:36:37.719
if we just take the time like
like you, like Trey saying, who

449
00:36:37.880 --> 00:36:45.559
saw breathe? And I noticed a
lot of schools I go in now in

450
00:36:45.639 --> 00:36:52.800
the morning, they do what they
call the calmness and trying to introduce the

451
00:36:52.840 --> 00:36:59.679
three breath breathing, closing your eyes, meditating on something that you think is

452
00:36:59.679 --> 00:37:04.679
your happy place, what makes you
calm, what makes you smooth? And

453
00:37:04.719 --> 00:37:09.519
I love one class I went to. She had two little boys, and

454
00:37:09.559 --> 00:37:13.039
she told'em, she said,
trust me, you gonna know it exactly

455
00:37:13.079 --> 00:37:16.039
who they are. I'm not gonna
even point'em out to you. But

456
00:37:16.119 --> 00:37:22.920
she had a little sofa on the
side and it was a a being with

457
00:37:23.480 --> 00:37:29.599
toys. She said, they're allowed
to come sit on the sofa and get

458
00:37:29.679 --> 00:37:35.519
one toy so they can calm down. And one of the little boys he

459
00:37:35.599 --> 00:37:40.800
went and the and the parather professional
said, are you okay, And I'm

460
00:37:40.840 --> 00:37:46.719
not gonna call no child name,
and he said, yes, I needed

461
00:37:46.760 --> 00:37:52.559
to calm down, and he said
then he got back up and went to

462
00:37:52.599 --> 00:37:57.920
his seat and continued to do what
they were doing at their station. But

463
00:37:58.960 --> 00:38:05.360
so many adults could learn from that, and it's so important they listen to

464
00:38:05.400 --> 00:38:10.719
what you said. Tree. You
got to relax, You got to find

465
00:38:10.800 --> 00:38:20.440
your calmness. You got to find
a way not to errupt, because eruption

466
00:38:20.880 --> 00:38:27.119
brings on. This little boy thirteen
gonna be in a jail cell for how

467
00:38:27.239 --> 00:38:31.199
I don't know how many years.
It's gonna end up with his mama going

468
00:38:31.239 --> 00:38:38.039
to jail too, because she gotta
be the responsible party not having that in

469
00:38:38.119 --> 00:38:44.440
a secure place or a lock down
where he couldn't get his hand on it.

470
00:38:45.039 --> 00:38:52.639
We gotta take responsibility of our actions. So you know, my heart

471
00:38:52.760 --> 00:39:00.559
goes out to families like that.
But you didn't think, and you know,

472
00:39:00.079 --> 00:39:05.400
we think kids are not paying us
any attention, but they watching every

473
00:39:05.719 --> 00:39:15.840
step we make, They watching every
word we speak. He don't seen something

474
00:39:15.880 --> 00:39:19.960
to that effect, whether it be
a game, whether it be in a

475
00:39:20.079 --> 00:39:25.360
movie, whether it happen at home, across the street on this corner,

476
00:39:25.800 --> 00:39:31.400
he don't seen that happen. And
I guess he figured that's if we're getting

477
00:39:31.599 --> 00:39:39.119
justice over a bag of chips,
baby, And how did Who's to say

478
00:39:39.320 --> 00:39:47.599
that Mama couldn't have bought him more
bags of chips. So it's just one

479
00:39:47.639 --> 00:39:55.880
of those things that we just got
to sit back and find that good spot

480
00:39:57.000 --> 00:40:05.840
for ourselves, knowing how to deal, communicate, and present in the proper

481
00:40:05.920 --> 00:40:12.920
way because the children of today are
seeing so much corruption and it's amazing what's

482
00:40:12.960 --> 00:40:19.039
on TV. I still don't care
for TV because there's so much corruption on

483
00:40:19.119 --> 00:40:27.199
TV. So that's my word is
to learn to communicate, be careful what

484
00:40:27.239 --> 00:40:32.559
you're exemplifying for these kids to pick
up, because they're just like magnets or

485
00:40:34.599 --> 00:40:38.840
vacuum cleaner. What they see,
that's what they take in and I just

486
00:40:39.360 --> 00:40:45.679
wanted to piggyback. What you said
to Tommy just made me think of something.

487
00:40:45.840 --> 00:40:49.440
So, you know, working in
this field or background with the mess

488
00:40:49.440 --> 00:40:53.239
of violence. You know, I
had a lady tell me that she felt

489
00:40:53.280 --> 00:41:00.320
that their partner loved her because he
hit her, and so the association with

490
00:41:00.840 --> 00:41:05.719
the abuse and love. You know, you do this because you care or

491
00:41:05.800 --> 00:41:08.519
I do this because I care about
you and stuff that that's that's not And

492
00:41:08.719 --> 00:41:13.880
and I just want to just kind
of put this out there because the massive

493
00:41:13.960 --> 00:41:19.639
violence is rising and it's you know, doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

494
00:41:19.679 --> 00:41:25.199
But I want to put out a
challenge to folks that would in an environment

495
00:41:25.360 --> 00:41:30.599
for your family to be in that's
safe, that feels safe, that's secure.

496
00:41:30.559 --> 00:41:35.639
Wouldn't that be a benefit? What
would be what would be harmful?

497
00:41:36.159 --> 00:41:40.159
If you learn more about what domestic
violence is? Is that going to be

498
00:41:40.280 --> 00:41:45.280
so hard to learn that? You
can do it at your own leisure.

499
00:41:45.360 --> 00:41:49.599
You can google it, you can
go on a national coalition against the massive

500
00:41:49.679 --> 00:41:54.400
violence and and and look at some
of the information that they have and then

501
00:41:54.760 --> 00:42:00.599
learn about what the symptoms and signs
of it and those who are potential abusers

502
00:42:00.760 --> 00:42:07.079
or those who are you know,
who are in are the aggressor in the

503
00:42:07.239 --> 00:42:09.000
relationship. Let me put it that
way, because I'm really trying to be

504
00:42:09.079 --> 00:42:14.920
sensitive because I don't want people to
feel that we're bashing. But to create

505
00:42:14.960 --> 00:42:19.719
an environment where your family can thrive. It cannot do that in an environment

506
00:42:19.760 --> 00:42:23.320
at home where there's spear, where
there's you know, worry about saying things

507
00:42:23.360 --> 00:42:28.960
or cooking the wrong things, or
you know, assumptions and jealousy and all

508
00:42:29.000 --> 00:42:32.639
this stuff. Learn about what it
is and then find a different way to

509
00:42:32.719 --> 00:42:37.800
deal with your your significant other.
And now it used to be more male

510
00:42:37.960 --> 00:42:42.480
and female and stuff. Now it's
other stuff that comes in the play.

511
00:42:42.760 --> 00:42:47.079
You know, where you have same
sex relationships, those things, whatever relationship

512
00:42:47.159 --> 00:42:52.519
you are in, just learn about
it. There's information out there. You're

513
00:42:52.559 --> 00:42:54.920
on your phone, if you use
your phone, just google the information.

514
00:42:55.400 --> 00:43:00.679
And if you're the person that is
the aggressor, just say a difference I

515
00:43:00.719 --> 00:43:05.760
can make if I start with me, I recognize that I do this because

516
00:43:05.760 --> 00:43:08.480
it's a cycle. It's the honeymoon
cycle. Is a sorry, I'm sorry

517
00:43:08.519 --> 00:43:12.960
to mean to do this. But
if you know you have to say sorry,

518
00:43:13.880 --> 00:43:16.880
but you feel you need to say
sorry, find out more about this.

519
00:43:17.199 --> 00:43:20.639
You can do it at your own
discretion and no one has to know,

520
00:43:20.679 --> 00:43:24.719
but just understand that and the impact
that it has on children in community.

521
00:43:24.800 --> 00:43:30.360
So that's that's what I want to
put out there, the full amen.

522
00:43:30.440 --> 00:43:35.639
I just googled real quick, domestic
violence incidents have increased zero point three

523
00:43:35.719 --> 00:43:44.239
percent in eleven cities. And then
it looks like Oklahoma. A new study

524
00:43:44.360 --> 00:43:50.960
just came out the Oklahoma first in
the nation for something for domestic violence rating.

525
00:43:51.760 --> 00:43:58.760
They're saying that forty nine women and
forty point seven percent of Oklahoma men

526
00:43:59.079 --> 00:44:08.920
have either or are currently experiencing domestic
balance. Oklahoma, the Bible belts looking

527
00:44:09.199 --> 00:44:12.880
stop it. You gotta take responsibility. Go ahead, tell me. I'm

528
00:44:12.920 --> 00:44:19.639
sorry. I just say what can
you say? And it starts to you

529
00:44:19.639 --> 00:44:23.719
know, I go back to this
faith based because people go there to people

530
00:44:23.760 --> 00:44:31.039
trust the spiritual leaders to lead them
and guide them. But I'm sending this

531
00:44:31.199 --> 00:44:36.599
plea out too. If you are
head of a ministerial or if you're a

532
00:44:37.440 --> 00:44:44.880
pastor or clergy or something, learn
about it. Get all the information because

533
00:44:44.920 --> 00:44:50.639
people will come to you first seeking
and you, as the head of a

534
00:44:50.719 --> 00:44:54.119
church or head of a ministry.
If you do and say the wrong thing,

535
00:44:54.360 --> 00:44:59.800
you can send somebody back into it, into to the death and it's

536
00:44:59.840 --> 00:45:02.519
not trying to minimum and you can
send them to their death because you don't

537
00:45:04.199 --> 00:45:09.280
really know, you know, what's
happening behind closed doors. And so presenting

538
00:45:09.440 --> 00:45:16.719
having opportunities outside of domestic violence awareness
about to present these things communication. You

539
00:45:16.719 --> 00:45:21.559
know, I'm pretty sure that there's
organizations out there, nonprofits that will be

540
00:45:21.760 --> 00:45:25.280
eager for someone and do a free
one. It doesn't always have to be

541
00:45:25.400 --> 00:45:30.559
that pain, but it'll be worth
the difference that pain because you might be

542
00:45:30.639 --> 00:45:35.920
saving someone who's sitting in your congregation, someone that you passed, or someone

543
00:45:35.960 --> 00:45:40.360
that you minister to. You don't
know that, but have it on hand.

544
00:45:44.679 --> 00:45:46.880
Yeah, I just look down a
little further. And as of June

545
00:45:46.960 --> 00:45:53.440
twenty eighth, the Journal of Emergency
Medicine said that domestic violence has increased twenty

546
00:45:53.440 --> 00:45:59.599
five to thirty three percent globally between
the years of twenty twenty and twenty twenty

547
00:45:59.679 --> 00:46:08.000
one. And now we've got second
generations, third generations coming into this world.

548
00:46:08.079 --> 00:46:12.880
Let's forget that not let's go back
to the baby being in the womb.

549
00:46:12.920 --> 00:46:16.320
Because scientists don't know what comes first
is the hearing. Is it the

550
00:46:16.400 --> 00:46:20.719
smell, you know? But the
baby, they've been able to say,

551
00:46:20.760 --> 00:46:25.360
the baby can hear and it feels
the pulsation of that heartbeat, of the

552
00:46:25.360 --> 00:46:32.800
mother's heartbeat. So can you imagine
a baby hearing? And I want to

553
00:46:32.880 --> 00:46:38.440
quickly say, share something a family
member went through something. I had a

554
00:46:38.440 --> 00:46:43.519
little baby, and the baby really
came in this world struggling and for a

555
00:46:43.599 --> 00:46:49.960
reason. But I woke up and
I heard this little voice saying, I

556
00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:52.559
want to come home. I just
want to come home. She's not gonna

557
00:46:52.599 --> 00:46:58.039
love me. She's not gonna love
me. They talk about me, she

558
00:46:58.199 --> 00:47:00.079
talks about me, And I'm like, I'm waking up, and I'm like,

559
00:47:01.280 --> 00:47:04.280
okay, I'm at my sister.
I'm listening. I'm like, is

560
00:47:04.280 --> 00:47:10.440
this somebody talking? Long story short, It was the baby that was not

561
00:47:10.599 --> 00:47:17.920
even two three months old and an
incubator because of its issues, talking to

562
00:47:17.960 --> 00:47:24.320
God, telling God they're not gonna
love me, They're not gonna be able

563
00:47:24.320 --> 00:47:30.440
to take care of me. I
just want to come home. She said

564
00:47:30.519 --> 00:47:32.159
this about me, and she and
I knew who she was talking about.

565
00:47:32.400 --> 00:47:36.599
It's three or four people involved,
and I knew the adults said that that

566
00:47:37.039 --> 00:47:39.159
little voice was saying no. She
said she you know, you shouldn't have

567
00:47:39.199 --> 00:47:43.519
gotten pregnant, and you brought an
embarrassment on the family, and you should

568
00:47:44.039 --> 00:47:45.920
And I'm just, I just I
couldn't do move. I couldn't because I

569
00:47:45.920 --> 00:47:51.920
had never experienced that before. But
I was awakened to this dialogue, this

570
00:47:52.079 --> 00:48:00.320
conversation between this newborn baby and God. And so that that told me from

571
00:48:00.320 --> 00:48:02.760
then on, Okay, the baby's
the dembre of that baby can hear.

572
00:48:04.159 --> 00:48:08.719
Once it's form and formulating and it's
moving around, it can hear. It

573
00:48:08.840 --> 00:48:17.960
can hear. The Lord brought her
home. Thank your country. The Lord

574
00:48:19.000 --> 00:48:22.199
brought her home. But there was
a there was a there, but she

575
00:48:22.880 --> 00:48:27.920
her life a few months with us. Really I could preach on it.

576
00:48:28.679 --> 00:48:34.519
I could preach because she grew.
She grew despite the odds, despite the

577
00:48:34.599 --> 00:48:39.039
odds. So my whole point of
sharing that I believe, is to let

578
00:48:39.119 --> 00:48:46.599
you know it starts with you a
parent. Relatives. You know, we

579
00:48:46.760 --> 00:48:51.559
laugh at Ada movies, but they're
so true, especially the family reunion.

580
00:48:52.960 --> 00:48:55.119
Go to the family reunion. If
you want to see how that family is

581
00:48:55.159 --> 00:48:59.519
and what you're getting ready to marry
into. Go to the family reunion.

582
00:49:00.320 --> 00:49:04.400
You're gonna hear the gossip. You're
gonna see that anybody's got addictions. Oh

583
00:49:04.519 --> 00:49:07.519
no, Missy, don't cry,
thank you, thank you. She's she's

584
00:49:07.880 --> 00:49:13.079
fine now, she's home, she's
with she's the angels are celebrating her every

585
00:49:13.159 --> 00:49:17.239
day. Don't don't cry, Missy. God I do it through the airwaves.

586
00:49:17.280 --> 00:49:22.480
Oh my god, I don't like
that. Well, thank you,

587
00:49:22.559 --> 00:49:25.000
Mistery and country. This is This
tells us what we need to be praying

588
00:49:25.039 --> 00:49:30.199
about. We need to be praying
about it. I mean, your your

589
00:49:30.199 --> 00:49:34.760
prayer points probably a list of ten
or more things to pray about. And

590
00:49:34.800 --> 00:49:38.519
when you find yourself feeling down and
lo pray for somebody else. Pray for

591
00:49:38.559 --> 00:49:44.039
the situation. Pray for your neighbor. There's always an issue, there's always

592
00:49:44.079 --> 00:49:46.440
somebody that can use prayer. I
know that I can. Our time is

593
00:49:46.559 --> 00:49:50.719
up, and I'm hoping. I'm
gonna close up. I'm gonna close thats

594
00:49:50.760 --> 00:49:54.719
can, Missy. We're gonna celebrate
because we know what it means to love

595
00:49:55.239 --> 00:50:00.280
and to be prayerful, and we
want peace throughout this nation and through wap

596
00:50:00.320 --> 00:50:04.559
this world. We will see y'all
next week, same time, same station.

597
00:50:05.000 --> 00:50:58.000
Good night, everybody,