Parent Awareness

WEBVTT

1
00:00:12.599 --> 00:00:15.880
The topics and opinions expressed in the
following show are solely those of the hosts

2
00:00:15.880 --> 00:00:19.160
and their guests, and not those
of W Forcy Radio it's employees or affiliates.

3
00:00:19.359 --> 00:00:22.719
We make no recommendations or endorsements for
radio show, program services, or

4
00:00:22.760 --> 00:00:26.480
products mentioned on air or on our
web. No liability, explicit or implied

5
00:00:26.519 --> 00:00:30.359
shall be extended to W Forcy Radio
or its employees or affiliates. Any questions

6
00:00:30.440 --> 00:00:33.640
or comments should be directed to those
show hosts. Thank you for choosing W

7
00:00:33.759 --> 00:01:34.159
FORCY Radio. Welcod evening and evening, and welcome to another fabulous show of

8
00:01:34.239 --> 00:01:38.640
setting it straight with Miss Gray.
It looks like you have Miss Gray for

9
00:01:38.879 --> 00:01:42.959
tonight and my trusted producer and engineer
in the background, so we're gonna take

10
00:01:42.959 --> 00:01:47.079
it there. Let's pray. Father, we just thank you and we praise

11
00:01:47.159 --> 00:01:49.599
you. We give you glory for
you alone are worthy. You're so worthy,

12
00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:53.840
You're so worthy to be praised.
I thank you God, you just

13
00:01:53.200 --> 00:02:00.280
forever surprising me, forever giving me
favor, forever having all the green lights

14
00:02:00.280 --> 00:02:05.319
in my life, and now you
have set me at another upon another platform,

15
00:02:05.439 --> 00:02:07.360
Father God, and I just thank
you. It's kingdom work. It's

16
00:02:07.439 --> 00:02:10.960
not about me at all. I
want everybody to see you. I don't

17
00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:13.960
want them to see me. I
don't want them to hear me. I

18
00:02:14.159 --> 00:02:16.479
want them to hear you. And
I thank you for this opportunity. I

19
00:02:16.520 --> 00:02:21.919
thank you for first being the one
to love me, first to be the

20
00:02:21.960 --> 00:02:24.919
one to accept me as is.
And I thank you God, and I

21
00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:30.919
praise you in Jesus name. This
is your show where your people set your

22
00:02:30.960 --> 00:02:34.840
captives free. Amen and amen,
and in Jesus Name, Well, good

23
00:02:34.840 --> 00:02:38.319
evening again, and thank you all. Tonight we're gonna be talking about a

24
00:02:38.319 --> 00:02:43.159
couple of things first and foremost,
I pray that you all had a great

25
00:02:43.159 --> 00:02:49.360
week. I don't know how the
weather is wherever you're listening in tuning in

26
00:02:49.439 --> 00:02:53.360
from here in Orlando. It's just
at a pouring rain and then at a

27
00:02:53.439 --> 00:02:58.400
stop. So my grass does appreciate
it. Amen. I'm sure you all

28
00:02:58.479 --> 00:03:05.000
weren't aware, especially as ends,
our beloved governor is always putting things into

29
00:03:05.120 --> 00:03:07.520
law and we're the last one to
know about it. So for a project

30
00:03:07.520 --> 00:03:13.599
for class um, we had to
look up a legislative action or bill,

31
00:03:14.240 --> 00:03:20.199
and we had to report on it
and how it pertains to our selected population,

32
00:03:20.319 --> 00:03:28.159
targeted population that we're going to be, you know, dealing with or

33
00:03:28.680 --> 00:03:31.520
talking about in our caps on our
final project paper, and mine is the

34
00:03:31.599 --> 00:03:36.319
black American elderly. And I've shared
that with you all before. Well,

35
00:03:36.360 --> 00:03:42.639
I'm looking up and I ran across
the this UM website, you know that

36
00:03:42.719 --> 00:03:49.400
talks about the two hundred bills that
Governor DeSantis put into law and made into

37
00:03:49.439 --> 00:03:54.479
effect as of July first, And
I'm just seeing this on July twenty first.

38
00:03:55.599 --> 00:04:00.080
Okay, So here's the bill that
I reported, and I have to

39
00:04:00.120 --> 00:04:02.560
do it legislative style, and I
got one hundred percent. By the way,

40
00:04:02.599 --> 00:04:05.759
God is good, and here we
go. It was a Senate bill

41
00:04:05.919 --> 00:04:15.560
one eight zero called Protections of Medical
Conscience, Protections of Medical Conscience, and

42
00:04:15.680 --> 00:04:21.839
it's about it gives healthcare providers,
to listen closely, healthcare providers the right

43
00:04:21.879 --> 00:04:30.920
to refuse care based on their moral, ethical, or religious beliefs. So

44
00:04:30.959 --> 00:04:33.560
you probably wonder, Okay, I
think I'm hearing you, but I'm not

45
00:04:33.720 --> 00:04:38.800
sure. We'll let me clarify for
you. Basically, it is a law

46
00:04:38.879 --> 00:04:50.079
here in Florida that if healthcare positions
nurses and anyone else healthcare providers that providing

47
00:04:50.439 --> 00:05:00.439
delivery of service can deny a patient
if it goes against their own personal roles

48
00:05:00.800 --> 00:05:05.920
or ethics or their religious beliefs.
So how does this tie in with my

49
00:05:06.000 --> 00:05:10.360
population? Well, I'm glad you
asked, because, as I said and

50
00:05:10.399 --> 00:05:15.360
I reported that while this bill can
include a variety of ethnic groups, this

51
00:05:15.439 --> 00:05:20.759
bias would greatly affect aging black adults
who have healthcare providers that are against or

52
00:05:20.920 --> 00:05:27.079
not qualified to treat this to treat
them. And what that means is that

53
00:05:27.199 --> 00:05:30.519
you could go to your doctor and
because your doctor don't like the elderly or

54
00:05:30.600 --> 00:05:34.480
aging people, he's only he's gonna
cut his time his patient care off at

55
00:05:34.560 --> 00:05:39.279
age forty five. He's not gonna
see nobody else, or she's not gonna

56
00:05:39.319 --> 00:05:42.360
see anybody else over the age of
forty five. So what does that say

57
00:05:42.399 --> 00:05:47.800
for people who are forty six,
forty seven, forty eight, What does

58
00:05:47.800 --> 00:05:55.519
that say? Don't doctors have a
thing that says do no harm? But

59
00:05:55.639 --> 00:06:00.800
the hypocratic goal? There you go. But this override is that obviously,

60
00:06:01.319 --> 00:06:06.680
because why would he put that into
law? Put that into law? Now?

61
00:06:06.879 --> 00:06:14.000
What further the further negative piece of
this is after I'm doing some research

62
00:06:14.399 --> 00:06:19.199
WOLA, a study by the US
Department of Health and Human Services administration in

63
00:06:19.279 --> 00:06:29.920
twenty seventeen did a little report on
the fact that there are less people who

64
00:06:29.920 --> 00:06:35.199
are seeking the field of gerontology or
geriatricians is what they're called. So we

65
00:06:35.279 --> 00:06:40.240
have less people going into the field
of gerontology, the study of the elderly,

66
00:06:40.800 --> 00:06:44.759
or becoming a geriatrician, which is
a medical doctor that treats the geriatric

67
00:06:45.199 --> 00:06:49.399
population. And Florida and the southern
states are going to be the states that

68
00:06:49.600 --> 00:06:54.680
get hit the hardest. And as
I said in my presentation, Florida,

69
00:06:54.800 --> 00:07:00.680
we are the third populated state of
people who are retiring and coming into here,

70
00:07:00.680 --> 00:07:04.800
coming here to live. For years, we were in the number where

71
00:07:04.800 --> 00:07:08.319
we weren't the third. We weren't
the first, second, or third.

72
00:07:09.000 --> 00:07:13.680
New York was first, Texas and
California. Texas and California where the third

73
00:07:13.720 --> 00:07:17.319
populated states. And what makes it
populated is if you purchased property, you

74
00:07:17.480 --> 00:07:21.240
purchased property in that state, in
that city, in those cities in the

75
00:07:21.319 --> 00:07:27.600
states. So I think we took
the place of New York. Now we

76
00:07:27.639 --> 00:07:33.519
didn't of Texas, So we became
the third populated state of older Americans.

77
00:07:34.519 --> 00:07:41.480
So if we are not gonna have
we got a law now where doctors and

78
00:07:41.600 --> 00:07:46.480
healthcare providers don't have to treat us
because we look a certain way, and

79
00:07:46.519 --> 00:07:54.439
then we have less medical people majoring
in the field. What's gonna happen to

80
00:07:54.480 --> 00:08:01.199
my eldering, what's gonna happen to
you who are aging? And that's what

81
00:08:01.319 --> 00:08:05.720
I proposed, you know, I
put forth in my presentation. You're getting

82
00:08:05.759 --> 00:08:11.839
older too, You're getting We're not
leaving you behind, okay. And they're

83
00:08:11.920 --> 00:08:20.240
projecting that the demand for these these
specialists is projected to increase by forty five

84
00:08:20.360 --> 00:08:28.759
percent. Get this over the next
three years. Mind you that this report

85
00:08:28.800 --> 00:08:33.360
came out in twenty seventeen. We're
in twenty twenty three, so then they

86
00:08:33.360 --> 00:08:37.879
were reporting that by twenty twenty five, we're gonna see we're gonna have a

87
00:08:37.960 --> 00:08:43.480
major catastrophe on our hands as far
as healthcare is concerned and certain populations.

88
00:08:43.679 --> 00:08:48.159
I did say, I don't know
who this bill was originally written for,

89
00:08:50.759 --> 00:08:54.639
okay, but I can tell you
who is going to impact today, and

90
00:08:54.679 --> 00:08:58.720
so I'm gonna be doing more of
that. I'll go over. There was

91
00:08:58.759 --> 00:09:03.960
two hundred other bills, uh,
one hundred and ninety nine other bills rather

92
00:09:03.240 --> 00:09:09.320
that he introduced into law on you
know for Florida, that was that started.

93
00:09:09.399 --> 00:09:11.519
You lie first, and you already
know about the gun piece. Um,

94
00:09:11.559 --> 00:09:16.360
there's some things about schools and students
in schools and and and the bathrooms

95
00:09:16.399 --> 00:09:18.919
and things like that. So it's
it's a whole lot. There's a whole

96
00:09:18.960 --> 00:09:22.759
lot. So I would just google, um, you know Florida law,

97
00:09:24.159 --> 00:09:26.600
you know two hundred Florida law,
the scientists. I'm sure something will pop

98
00:09:26.679 --> 00:09:30.480
up, but you need to know
these things. And this is a segue

99
00:09:30.519 --> 00:09:33.440
into you know, we're talking about
parenting the good, the bad, and

100
00:09:33.480 --> 00:09:39.440
the ugly, and being a parent
is no joker. It's not easy because

101
00:09:39.480 --> 00:09:43.919
you tried to especially and you can't
help but reflect on sorry put in my

102
00:09:43.960 --> 00:09:48.480
hand in care of that. You
cannot help, but reflect on how you

103
00:09:48.519 --> 00:09:52.600
were raised. If you don't have
a good childhood and you never dealt with

104
00:09:52.639 --> 00:09:58.480
that, you never forgave, you
never tried to process it, you never

105
00:09:58.639 --> 00:10:01.440
sought help, then I don't know
what kind of parent you could be.

106
00:10:03.240 --> 00:10:05.480
Let me just go by what I've
seen in therapy. Okay, I've seen

107
00:10:05.519 --> 00:10:13.200
the parent that UM was heavily into
uh, substance abuse, and alcohol as

108
00:10:13.200 --> 00:10:24.159
their children were growing up and um
and unfortunately they choose they they as they

109
00:10:24.200 --> 00:10:30.480
became sober, and over the years
they had children, the same children.

110
00:10:30.840 --> 00:10:35.799
They indulge those children to where they
spoil the kids because they're feeling some kind

111
00:10:35.840 --> 00:10:39.120
of way based you know, that
they weren't there when they needed to be

112
00:10:39.159 --> 00:10:41.080
and be a parent, that they
needed to be a father, mom,

113
00:10:41.200 --> 00:10:46.360
whatever. So you've got kids,
adult kids from those adults who are walking

114
00:10:46.360 --> 00:10:52.840
around thinking that they're entitled and they're
not good citizens because they have, you

115
00:10:52.840 --> 00:10:56.879
know, attitudes and behaviors that are
not becoming of someone who was raised,

116
00:10:58.360 --> 00:11:03.360
you know, to be fair and
to be um, to not be judgmental

117
00:11:03.480 --> 00:11:09.159
and things like that. Then you've
got the parent that um another. The

118
00:11:09.480 --> 00:11:13.759
children were handed off to other relatives, sometimes split up, sometimes put in

119
00:11:13.799 --> 00:11:20.440
systems, and now the adult child
is trying to find an adult parent and

120
00:11:20.720 --> 00:11:22.799
you're looking at each other like,
Okay, I know your mind. You

121
00:11:22.840 --> 00:11:26.200
know you get you gave birth to
me, but I have no connection.

122
00:11:26.279 --> 00:11:33.200
There's no bond here between you and
I. So you know, it depends

123
00:11:33.320 --> 00:11:39.240
on where and how your what your
childhood was like too. That would speak

124
00:11:39.279 --> 00:11:43.000
to the type of parent you are
now. I know, growing up you

125
00:11:43.000 --> 00:11:45.240
would always say, oh, I'm
not gonna be like my mother, I'm

126
00:11:45.279 --> 00:11:48.919
not gonna be like my daddy.
And we find ourselves sometimes being just like

127
00:11:50.120 --> 00:11:56.679
them, mimicking the way they talk, mimicking the way they they, uh,

128
00:11:56.720 --> 00:12:00.480
you know, behave, and how
they structure discipline or I have no

129
00:12:00.679 --> 00:12:05.320
discipline and stuff. So it's it's
you got to, um, you know,

130
00:12:05.600 --> 00:12:09.440
step back and decide, especially when
you decide to have a child,

131
00:12:09.759 --> 00:12:13.840
you know, what kind of parents
and am I going to be? What

132
00:12:13.960 --> 00:12:18.000
kind of parent am I going to
be? I know that when I planned

133
00:12:18.080 --> 00:12:20.200
for my first my oldest son,
my husband and I we planned for it.

134
00:12:20.240 --> 00:12:24.639
I hadn't been married for two years
and he came, Yeah, he

135
00:12:24.679 --> 00:12:26.759
came two years later, and I
said, well, I want to have

136
00:12:26.799 --> 00:12:31.480
a baby, because that's the two
things. I just graduated from graduate school.

137
00:12:31.559 --> 00:12:33.399
And then I met him, and
then I said, well, there's

138
00:12:33.399 --> 00:12:35.720
two things I hadn't done. I
hadn't gotten married, I hadn't had a

139
00:12:35.799 --> 00:12:39.360
child. So I got married,
you know, and then two years later

140
00:12:39.440 --> 00:12:43.200
planning to half you know, and
we planned Donald to come into this world

141
00:12:43.679 --> 00:12:46.879
and so um, and I was
like, lord, you gotta help me

142
00:12:46.960 --> 00:12:50.639
because I never baby said anybody.
I never baby said to anybody's kids.

143
00:12:50.879 --> 00:12:54.000
I didn't raise I did to have
a good relationship with the sister that was

144
00:12:54.039 --> 00:12:56.480
adopted into the family, into my
family and two years who was two years

145
00:12:56.480 --> 00:13:01.000
younger than I. So I'm like, you got to help me here.

146
00:13:01.000 --> 00:13:05.200
I was great, had great relationship
relationships with my cousins, but um,

147
00:13:05.080 --> 00:13:09.639
you know, so I didn't,
you know, I just I prayed and

148
00:13:09.679 --> 00:13:11.559
I prayed, and then the next
thing I know, the doctor announces I'm

149
00:13:11.559 --> 00:13:16.080
pregnant, and I'm like, yay, and you know, and then I'm

150
00:13:16.120 --> 00:13:18.960
just praying, Lord, let me
be the best parent that I can be,

151
00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:22.519
you know. And then I divorced
the dad and three years later and

152
00:13:24.320 --> 00:13:26.440
three years later to three years later, and next thing I know, I

153
00:13:26.480 --> 00:13:30.440
wasn't thinking about marrying again. It
was just me and my boy, and

154
00:13:30.600 --> 00:13:33.320
I was good and I was having
my own businesses and I was just doing

155
00:13:33.360 --> 00:13:35.320
well and stuff like that. And
all of a sudden, I came to

156
00:13:35.360 --> 00:13:39.360
my brother's wedding and met the second
husband. So I'm like, okay,

157
00:13:39.399 --> 00:13:46.200
I'm not I'm not not. But
eventually we did, uh just continue talking,

158
00:13:46.279 --> 00:13:48.759
and eleven months later, we're in
a relationship, and you know,

159
00:13:50.039 --> 00:13:52.759
I realized I loved him, he
loved me, and then we had talked

160
00:13:52.759 --> 00:13:54.519
about it, you know, as
well, we want to try to have

161
00:13:54.519 --> 00:13:56.919
a girl. He already had older
kids, and so of course I had

162
00:13:56.960 --> 00:14:01.759
my son, so but he wasn't
in a good relationships with his older children.

163
00:14:01.320 --> 00:14:07.440
So the next thing I know,
I can't keep food down. A

164
00:14:07.519 --> 00:14:11.000
year later, and while I get
the announcement that I don't am I having

165
00:14:11.039 --> 00:14:15.799
one child, I'm having two.
And I'm crying on the way home after

166
00:14:16.320 --> 00:14:18.320
from the emergency room, saying,
God, you got to help me.

167
00:14:18.600 --> 00:14:22.240
I mean, what are my two
kids? At one time? I don't

168
00:14:22.240 --> 00:14:26.600
have any help up here in Orlando. I'm not going back to my hometown.

169
00:14:26.080 --> 00:14:28.799
I don't know what I'm gonna do. And the marriage was not,

170
00:14:30.120 --> 00:14:33.600
you know, really stable at the
time, and I'm like, oh my

171
00:14:33.799 --> 00:14:35.639
God, why would I have this? Why would you do this to me?

172
00:14:35.720 --> 00:14:39.000
Lord? And God, like,
you know, God gets blamed for

173
00:14:39.080 --> 00:14:41.879
everything. He excuse me, guys, I don't know why it's hot,

174
00:14:41.879 --> 00:14:45.759
but excuse me. But you know, he gets blamed for everything. And

175
00:14:45.840 --> 00:14:48.799
so the spirit spoke to me as
I'm looking out of the window my husband

176
00:14:48.840 --> 00:14:52.120
was driving us home and I'm looking
out the window and I'm tearing. I'm

177
00:14:52.159 --> 00:14:56.440
the tears are just falling. And
the Lord, the spirit of the Lord,

178
00:14:56.480 --> 00:14:58.600
said to me, now, I
need you to dry those tears,

179
00:14:58.919 --> 00:15:03.440
because these babies to come into this
world so happy and full of happiness.

180
00:15:03.559 --> 00:15:07.559
And I'm like, yes, sir, you're right. So and they came

181
00:15:07.600 --> 00:15:13.399
six weeks early, so they penetrated
my birthday month hint, hint, which

182
00:15:13.399 --> 00:15:18.799
is next month, and uh,
you know, and they've just been I

183
00:15:18.879 --> 00:15:22.080
have three beautiful children, and they've
been the joy of my life. UM.

184
00:15:22.360 --> 00:15:26.639
And I'm always checking myself as a
parent because I don't want to give

185
00:15:26.639 --> 00:15:28.360
off the wrong impression. I don't
want I want to be supportive, but

186
00:15:28.360 --> 00:15:33.240
I'm not here to be your friend. I will never be a child's friend.

187
00:15:33.919 --> 00:15:39.039
Um. And that's just what works
for me. Um. And you

188
00:15:39.080 --> 00:15:41.080
know, I'm happy about that,
you know, I'm happy. You know.

189
00:15:41.240 --> 00:15:45.279
I think my parents would be proud
of me if they were around to

190
00:15:45.279 --> 00:15:46.720
see how I turned out to be
a parent. And we kind of parent

191
00:15:46.960 --> 00:15:52.120
I am. My biological mother has
commended me and say you are a good

192
00:15:52.159 --> 00:15:54.879
mother, and so that's you know
that those are good feelings, you know.

193
00:15:56.600 --> 00:16:00.600
Um, but I stay in prayer
all the time over these three people,

194
00:16:00.960 --> 00:16:03.000
you know, and over myself,
and I'm checking myself to make sure

195
00:16:03.240 --> 00:16:06.440
because, like I tell them,
I'm just as human as they are.

196
00:16:06.480 --> 00:16:12.279
At times, I'm just temperacent human, but anyway spiritual. So but don't

197
00:16:12.320 --> 00:16:17.159
try me. Don't take that for
granted. And I think sometimes children who

198
00:16:17.240 --> 00:16:18.919
you know, and because of twenty
twenty, let's talk about that. Because

199
00:16:18.960 --> 00:16:26.960
twenty twenty shifted the globe, shifted
the axis of the earth, and so

200
00:16:26.559 --> 00:16:33.360
we're at we're living now where in
a time where our adult children cannot afford

201
00:16:33.399 --> 00:16:37.919
to go out there and get a
two bedroom apartment. Then along a one

202
00:16:37.000 --> 00:16:41.519
bedroom apartment, you've got more people
renting out rooms at four hundred a month,

203
00:16:41.879 --> 00:16:47.440
five hundred dollars a month just to
have a bedroom and share the the

204
00:16:47.600 --> 00:16:52.639
you know, the the largest spaces. And you know, I never thought

205
00:16:52.720 --> 00:16:57.320
that we would ever be in a
situation like that. I told I kind

206
00:16:57.320 --> 00:17:02.720
of inform people a few years years
ago that we're coming to a time where

207
00:17:03.000 --> 00:17:07.440
families are going to resume living together
because it's going to be too much.

208
00:17:07.480 --> 00:17:11.519
And this is right before twenty twenty
hit and I remember I was on Facebook

209
00:17:11.599 --> 00:17:14.960
Live or something, and I was
saying, don't be surprised if you know

210
00:17:15.039 --> 00:17:21.960
families resume living together and so and
and look what has happened. There's some

211
00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:26.400
were able to go home and some
weren't able to go home, And people

212
00:17:26.440 --> 00:17:30.359
have lost their homes and they lost
their properties because they could not afford.

213
00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:33.079
And now we're back in that again
where people cannot afford and people are looking

214
00:17:33.079 --> 00:17:38.839
for housing and things like that.
So parenting is it will always be a

215
00:17:38.960 --> 00:17:45.079
challenge. And one thing I will
always say that an adult child with an

216
00:17:45.079 --> 00:17:49.240
adult parents still living there, your
responsibility. It doesn't matter the relationship.

217
00:17:51.480 --> 00:17:56.160
We still are to honor our parents, honor our father and our mother.

218
00:17:56.279 --> 00:17:59.480
That thy days may be long.
That's the third commandment, and that's the

219
00:17:59.559 --> 00:18:03.359
only one with the promise. So
my days are gonna be long. I

220
00:18:03.359 --> 00:18:07.799
always already knew that, even before
I even knew about the scripture. So

221
00:18:08.839 --> 00:18:12.880
you got to you know, if
you have an adult child, if you're

222
00:18:12.880 --> 00:18:17.720
an adult child and you have an
adult parent living somewhere, you need to

223
00:18:17.759 --> 00:18:23.799
participate in the making sure that their
lives are safe, that their lives are

224
00:18:25.720 --> 00:18:29.880
good, not just decent, but
good no matter what type of parent they

225
00:18:29.880 --> 00:18:33.240
were. I know, you know, I've had an adult child say to

226
00:18:33.319 --> 00:18:37.119
me, well, my mother all
she did was, you know, mooch

227
00:18:37.240 --> 00:18:41.319
off of everybody, and she took
this, and she took that and stuff

228
00:18:41.359 --> 00:18:44.599
like that. Well, yeah,
and she may have done that. What

229
00:18:44.720 --> 00:18:48.000
her reasons aren't We won't know unless
you ask her. But oh, my

230
00:18:48.079 --> 00:18:51.720
father was never involved with me.
And then all of a sudden, now

231
00:18:51.759 --> 00:18:55.599
he pops up and he's elderly and
he's got medical conditions and stuff like that,

232
00:18:55.640 --> 00:18:56.720
and people are looking at me to
take care of him. And I'm

233
00:18:56.759 --> 00:19:00.000
like, oh, it gets a
kind of sticky out here, but you

234
00:19:00.039 --> 00:19:07.319
could do the best that you can. I wouldn't turn my back on them.

235
00:19:07.359 --> 00:19:11.400
I wouldn't turn my back. I
would do my best to see what

236
00:19:11.480 --> 00:19:15.200
I can do and if I can
help somewhere along the way. Make sure

237
00:19:15.319 --> 00:19:19.680
you've got groceries. I'm checking on
you during hurricane season and things like that.

238
00:19:19.720 --> 00:19:22.279
I'm i saying, move them into
the house with you, but make

239
00:19:22.319 --> 00:19:27.079
sure that they're safe. They may
not be happy because they're sitting there thinking,

240
00:19:27.200 --> 00:19:30.920
and I'm sure their lives are just
you know, just like a camera

241
00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:34.759
reviewing, you know, a projector
you know, they're looking at their lifestyle

242
00:19:34.799 --> 00:19:40.000
and wondering, how did I get
here? I thought I planned it better.

243
00:19:40.799 --> 00:19:44.000
And sometimes you've not planned it.
You know, you made plans,

244
00:19:44.079 --> 00:19:48.359
but you made decisions as also so
as a parent. Now I'm gonna switch

245
00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:52.000
it a little bit because the Bible
said, do not provoke your children to

246
00:19:52.119 --> 00:19:56.319
wrath, and you got to be
careful again, not being a friend to

247
00:19:56.400 --> 00:20:00.480
your child, but being the parent
that you can. And after a while,

248
00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:06.240
spiritually speaking, you become a steward
over their life. Yes, I'm

249
00:20:06.279 --> 00:20:10.440
still mom, I'm still mommy,
but I'm a steward. My prayers kind

250
00:20:10.440 --> 00:20:15.559
of shift, my direction or my
approach to them, My behaviors towards them

251
00:20:15.000 --> 00:20:19.240
shifts a little bit. When you
become a steward over their lives. And

252
00:20:19.359 --> 00:20:26.799
that is when that happens. You
know what that means biblically is that there's

253
00:20:26.799 --> 00:20:33.920
a spiritual age that you come into
knowledge and that you grow up spiritually or

254
00:20:33.319 --> 00:20:38.799
or you're held accountable even more.
And it's not the chronicle age of eighteen.

255
00:20:40.319 --> 00:20:41.920
It's that could be the chronicle age
of eight, it could be the

256
00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:48.200
age of nine, but you come
into the spiritual awareness of God, and

257
00:20:48.240 --> 00:20:52.359
then he's holding you accountable because he's
listening for your prayer life. And so

258
00:20:52.440 --> 00:20:56.279
hopefully you've developed that prayer life through
your parents and everything, and that you're

259
00:20:56.359 --> 00:21:00.839
exercising that as best as you can. With that, you got to just

260
00:21:00.920 --> 00:21:04.839
kind of, you know, be
the best parent that you can. Babies

261
00:21:06.279 --> 00:21:11.960
come here, however they get here. They are not responsible for your decision

262
00:21:11.119 --> 00:21:18.200
to have a child or to produce
a child, So you have to make

263
00:21:18.240 --> 00:21:22.920
sure you understand that and don't take
your decisions out on that baby. I

264
00:21:23.000 --> 00:21:29.000
am so glad that I was giving
up for adoption. That has made that

265
00:21:27.559 --> 00:21:33.279
that kind of foundation for me,
made has made me, has contributed to

266
00:21:33.319 --> 00:21:37.799
me being who I am today.
There there's no doubt in my mind,

267
00:21:37.119 --> 00:21:41.720
and I'm so glad, I'm so
happy. I'm so thankful, and I

268
00:21:41.759 --> 00:21:47.119
thank my parents every day for adopting
me, even up until their death.

269
00:21:48.599 --> 00:21:52.079
And I'm thankful for that because it's
made me to be who I am.

270
00:21:52.119 --> 00:21:53.839
And then I end up being a
social worker and then a therapist, and

271
00:21:53.839 --> 00:22:00.200
then you know, a case manager
and then you know everything that I am.

272
00:22:00.200 --> 00:22:04.680
And my parents did their best.
They did their best while my mom

273
00:22:04.720 --> 00:22:10.000
and I didn't bond too well.
Behind closed doors. She was still mummy.

274
00:22:11.359 --> 00:22:15.279
She was still mummy, and I
you know, I know that they're

275
00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:18.640
both in heaven and I know they're
rejoicing every time I opened my mouth to

276
00:22:18.720 --> 00:22:25.440
say, that's that's our girl,
that's our girl. If you don't do

277
00:22:25.640 --> 00:22:30.000
well towards your parents, it will
haunt you. I have seen people in

278
00:22:30.119 --> 00:22:34.200
therapy over the last thirty years who
have regretted how they treated them. It

279
00:22:34.319 --> 00:22:41.039
ends up coming from childhood, it
ends up dealing with the parent, and

280
00:22:41.880 --> 00:22:48.559
it's they're living in torment. They're
not completely happy. And with that,

281
00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:55.000
then they're driven to therapy because all
the other behaviors are resting on their you

282
00:22:55.039 --> 00:22:59.200
know, how they were or what
they went through as a child, trauma,

283
00:23:00.160 --> 00:23:03.240
you know, the stealing of innocence, you name it, not being

284
00:23:03.279 --> 00:23:07.680
able to bond with that parent,
that mom because we heard that heartbeat for

285
00:23:07.799 --> 00:23:11.960
eight nine months, and all of
a sudden, that's taken away, and

286
00:23:11.000 --> 00:23:14.240
I'm out in this world and I
got all these lights, and I got

287
00:23:14.240 --> 00:23:18.680
all these hands handling me, and
where's that heartbeat, where's that voice I've

288
00:23:18.720 --> 00:23:25.880
heard? And it's not there.
So a baby comes in this world traumatized

289
00:23:25.920 --> 00:23:30.160
as well, until they make that
connection to that voice that they heard or

290
00:23:30.200 --> 00:23:33.119
two eight voice, to loving arms, to somebody who's full of love.

291
00:23:33.880 --> 00:23:37.559
So don't ever hesitate to think about
to not think about adopting a baby,

292
00:23:37.599 --> 00:23:42.519
adopting a child, because you know, you just don't know what your influence

293
00:23:42.559 --> 00:23:47.480
and the impact that you will have
on that child's life. Don't talk down

294
00:23:47.559 --> 00:23:52.400
to the children. My daughter has
former friends, classmates who I do not

295
00:23:52.599 --> 00:23:57.640
understand to this day why they're mothers. They have the hardest relationships with their

296
00:23:57.720 --> 00:24:02.839
moms and they look just like their
moms, you know, But I don't

297
00:24:02.920 --> 00:24:06.720
understand that because why, I mean, just because you're young and your child

298
00:24:06.799 --> 00:24:10.880
is and then I got mothers living
their lives through their daughters, and that's

299
00:24:10.960 --> 00:24:15.480
never gonna be good as well,
because then you don't have nothing healthy.

300
00:24:15.599 --> 00:24:21.079
There's nothing healthy that comes to that. And then, unfortunately, as you're

301
00:24:21.119 --> 00:24:26.119
getting older, god forbid, you
have you're ridden with health issues, incurable

302
00:24:26.279 --> 00:24:30.079
diseases and things, and then you're
looking for somebody to take care of you,

303
00:24:30.279 --> 00:24:37.519
and you're thinking that that child should
be taking care of you. You

304
00:24:37.599 --> 00:24:41.519
have this every situation, every scenario
is different, and so you you know,

305
00:24:41.720 --> 00:24:45.160
try to be the best parent that
you can be, but do not

306
00:24:45.279 --> 00:24:48.200
be your friend, your child's friend. That will not help them. They

307
00:24:48.200 --> 00:24:53.440
can go find their friends, but
it's not healthy, in my opinion,

308
00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:59.599
therapeutically for you to be a child
your child's friend, be there. You

309
00:24:59.640 --> 00:25:02.039
could be confident on my daughter.
Now, I mean my kids are not.

310
00:25:02.160 --> 00:25:03.599
We can sit down and we can
talk, and they know they can

311
00:25:03.640 --> 00:25:07.960
come to me. They know when
not to come to me. But I've

312
00:25:07.000 --> 00:25:11.400
also raised them when I saw that
they were being responsible that you know,

313
00:25:11.759 --> 00:25:18.160
find an adult, find somebody who
has a similar beliefs that we do.

314
00:25:18.880 --> 00:25:22.359
That if you can't talk to me, go talk to them, because I

315
00:25:22.400 --> 00:25:27.319
don't want you to be holding up
stuff from the past that I didn't know

316
00:25:27.400 --> 00:25:32.480
anything about. That you mean,
you may not have known about and all

317
00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:33.960
of a sudden, now you know, you got all these weird people in

318
00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:37.799
your life and all kinds of things, and you know, decisions you're making

319
00:25:37.839 --> 00:25:41.279
and it's up and down. We
just don't know which way things are going

320
00:25:41.400 --> 00:25:45.039
and all that good stuff. So
please, you know, find somebody to

321
00:25:45.079 --> 00:25:48.519
talk to it. And don't be
upset if your child goes to talk to

322
00:25:48.559 --> 00:25:56.519
someone else, because they feel that
they cannot talk to you. We talk

323
00:25:56.599 --> 00:26:00.720
about talking a lot on this show, and that's because not only because we

324
00:26:00.799 --> 00:26:06.079
are we come from the social service
social science background, which talks which is

325
00:26:06.119 --> 00:26:11.119
your psychology, your sociology, your
gerontology, social you know, societal where

326
00:26:11.400 --> 00:26:18.839
societal ills, social welfare, and
policy. Because talking it out does help,

327
00:26:19.400 --> 00:26:25.079
Praying it out does help being able
to say, you know what,

328
00:26:25.160 --> 00:26:27.920
I made this decision and I know
that this is not good. So how

329
00:26:27.960 --> 00:26:32.319
do I get myself out of this? How do I course correct? How

330
00:26:32.319 --> 00:26:38.440
do I not repeat myself again?
Excuse me? So I'm hoping that this,

331
00:26:38.880 --> 00:26:48.039
you know, this conversation is helping
um forgive yourself, forgive yourself.

332
00:26:48.119 --> 00:26:51.559
Maybe you didn't expect to become a
parent. I know my biological mother didn't

333
00:26:51.559 --> 00:26:56.440
expect to become a parent and not
be married, you know, So you

334
00:26:56.519 --> 00:27:03.559
have to deal with that, with
that and move on. You have to

335
00:27:03.599 --> 00:27:07.000
move on. You have to forgive
yourself and do the best that you can.

336
00:27:07.359 --> 00:27:11.839
But again, don't be trying to
spoil the kids or you know,

337
00:27:11.519 --> 00:27:17.599
playing too. They're holding you ransom, holding your love, their love ransom

338
00:27:17.960 --> 00:27:21.559
because they didn't you didn't give to
them. You weren't present with them when

339
00:27:21.559 --> 00:27:26.680
they were younger. Watch out for
that because children, unfortunately, they do

340
00:27:26.759 --> 00:27:33.279
things like that. You have to
judge yourself so you won't be judged.

341
00:27:33.599 --> 00:27:37.599
That's Bible. And in other words, check yourself so you won't be checked.

342
00:27:37.599 --> 00:27:41.799
Um. I've been very fortunate.
There are times that God will reveal

343
00:27:41.920 --> 00:27:48.119
things to me that's going on inside
the heads of these fellas, these folks

344
00:27:48.119 --> 00:27:49.839
that live with me. And and
when He tells me, you know,

345
00:27:49.880 --> 00:27:53.000
go ahead and talk it over or
wait, just hold back. I got

346
00:27:53.039 --> 00:27:56.319
him. Next thing, you know, they'll come to me say, hey,

347
00:27:56.319 --> 00:28:02.480
man, can we talk? Sure? You know I have gone to

348
00:28:03.440 --> 00:28:08.279
other adults profect. One was an
apostle of the church and that Sunday she

349
00:28:08.519 --> 00:28:12.200
really was a little out of sort
because we had a lot of single girls

350
00:28:12.200 --> 00:28:17.079
in there and she was just all
over the place. So that Monday at

351
00:28:17.400 --> 00:28:19.000
you know, after I finished my
last class. The church was near my

352
00:28:19.200 --> 00:28:22.319
school, my college, So I
called and I said, can I come

353
00:28:22.319 --> 00:28:25.759
by? She God, yeah,
I come on by. So when I

354
00:28:25.799 --> 00:28:30.680
got there, excuse me, guys. When I got there, we sat

355
00:28:30.680 --> 00:28:36.119
out in the church area and I
said, all titles off, and She's

356
00:28:36.160 --> 00:28:37.400
like okay, and I said,
yeah, I need to talk to you

357
00:28:37.440 --> 00:28:41.359
because what you did yesterday, do
you know, I mean, if any

358
00:28:41.400 --> 00:28:45.640
of those young ladies went out there
and made some unhealthy decisions, that blood

359
00:28:45.720 --> 00:28:52.599
is on your hands. Those actions
are your responsibility because you you shouldn't have

360
00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:56.359
done that. Hand it off to
your assistant or something. If you would

361
00:28:56.400 --> 00:29:00.599
just in a certain kind of way
and feeling a certain kind of way and

362
00:29:00.680 --> 00:29:07.160
going through things, that's what your
assistants are there for. Or canceled church.

363
00:29:10.880 --> 00:29:12.839
And she apologized. She goes,
I didn't even think about it that

364
00:29:12.880 --> 00:29:17.160
way, and I said, thank
you. So I've I've gone in and

365
00:29:17.200 --> 00:29:21.400
I've set the stage for difficult conversations, and like I said, I've shared

366
00:29:21.440 --> 00:29:26.039
with you all. Here in my
home, we have what we call family

367
00:29:26.359 --> 00:29:30.440
family time and a family meeting.
And I'll say, okay, I'm calling

368
00:29:30.480 --> 00:29:36.160
a family meeting ten o'clock tonight because
everybody will be in there and come on

369
00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:44.000
in, tray yay, and you
know, and at that time we're talking

370
00:29:44.440 --> 00:29:48.920
about you know, that's the time
that all titles are off. I'm not

371
00:29:48.079 --> 00:29:52.160
mommy. I'm just ahead of the
house. And if you need to talk

372
00:29:52.200 --> 00:29:56.799
through some things, let's let's let's
put it out there. And so that's

373
00:29:56.119 --> 00:30:00.240
that's what that time is about.
And everybody can say, well whatever.

374
00:30:00.279 --> 00:30:03.480
And I know in the early years
it's surprised the kids because of things I

375
00:30:03.519 --> 00:30:07.039
would say, because every times I
said, you know, I don't like

376
00:30:07.160 --> 00:30:10.160
y'all this time, you know,
since the last family meeting. I don't

377
00:30:10.200 --> 00:30:14.960
like y'all this family meeting because y'all
acting like y'all forgot stuff. You know,

378
00:30:15.039 --> 00:30:18.839
Well, whatever the case for you
be, you know, and then

379
00:30:18.880 --> 00:30:21.559
they'll, you know, sometimes they'll
have some things on their heart to say,

380
00:30:21.599 --> 00:30:26.480
and we open with prayer, were
closed with prayer. And the cold

381
00:30:26.559 --> 00:30:30.640
key to also having family meetings is
we don't talk. We don't talk about

382
00:30:30.640 --> 00:30:33.319
it after we're done. We're done, after it's been said, whether it's

383
00:30:33.319 --> 00:30:38.400
been resolved or not. Just like
some of these movies that don't have a

384
00:30:38.440 --> 00:30:42.000
perfect ending. I love movies that
leave us, leave it up in the

385
00:30:42.039 --> 00:30:45.559
air and we don't even know what
it could. Oh my god, I

386
00:30:45.559 --> 00:30:49.279
got I can't hard away to see
part two. Sometimes life is not a

387
00:30:49.279 --> 00:30:56.160
perfect ending. Life don't have perfect
solutions. You got to keep chopping away.

388
00:30:56.160 --> 00:30:57.440
You got this, okay, that
didn't work, that didn't oh maybe

389
00:30:57.480 --> 00:31:00.680
this will work. I'm gonna try
this way. Trade, come on end

390
00:31:00.680 --> 00:31:03.920
and talk, let's talk. You
can know I'm mute, but I'm just

391
00:31:03.960 --> 00:31:07.640
talking about parenting. And you know
how you know, it's that it's very

392
00:31:07.799 --> 00:31:14.559
um it's it's not good to be
a child's friends. It's best that you

393
00:31:15.240 --> 00:31:19.039
remain that parent parenting role because I
never see anything good come out of a

394
00:31:19.160 --> 00:31:23.960
parent being the friend of their child. I think it's definitely you know,

395
00:31:25.680 --> 00:31:30.119
establishing boundaries, you know, because
they're easy to cross. Um. So

396
00:31:30.359 --> 00:31:36.279
you know, making that that you
know, day one, you know,

397
00:31:36.720 --> 00:31:41.920
setting setting tones and and and expectations
our mommy or daddy or and you are

398
00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:45.599
the child, and not saying that
your your opinions don't value, you know,

399
00:31:45.759 --> 00:31:49.920
not don't matter. But you know, setting rules and sticking to rules,

400
00:31:51.079 --> 00:31:53.599
and you know, I think you
know, at some point, I

401
00:31:53.599 --> 00:31:59.559
think people want to make sure that
their children feel comfortable talking with them because

402
00:31:59.559 --> 00:32:02.559
sometimes it's not easily. Uh,
you know, things are not easy to

403
00:32:02.599 --> 00:32:07.920
talk about, especially you know,
relationships and you know if you're thinking about

404
00:32:07.960 --> 00:32:13.839
having you know, sexual relations or
you know those types of things. But

405
00:32:14.000 --> 00:32:20.200
you know, making a climate without
with the clear expectation that I'm still the

406
00:32:20.240 --> 00:32:24.880
parent. You know, you can't
give your role up, um, because

407
00:32:24.920 --> 00:32:28.319
that's what life is. You know, you have to understand what roles are.

408
00:32:28.359 --> 00:32:30.839
When you go on to a job. Hey, this is a supervisor,

409
00:32:31.359 --> 00:32:35.640
it's a co worker. You treat
everybody with respect. But also you

410
00:32:35.680 --> 00:32:38.279
know, not saying that you have
to suppress what you're feeling, but also

411
00:32:38.359 --> 00:32:44.319
no, be mindful of who with
whom we are talking when you say certain

412
00:32:44.359 --> 00:32:49.119
things and so um. And I
think you know, just like I said,

413
00:32:49.119 --> 00:32:51.720
everybody, I've seen it a couple
of times, a couple of ways

414
00:32:51.720 --> 00:32:54.559
where people are you know, that's
my best friend, that's my you know,

415
00:32:54.720 --> 00:33:00.680
my my, my child's my best
friend. And but it's a maturity

416
00:33:00.759 --> 00:33:05.119
level as well, you know.
And I think too the younger the parent

417
00:33:05.279 --> 00:33:08.960
not not all the time, especially
when you're growing with your child, you

418
00:33:09.039 --> 00:33:13.759
know, trying to establish the boundaries
because you're developing as well if you have

419
00:33:13.839 --> 00:33:19.279
a child, yum, So there's
still some developmental growth there and some immaturity

420
00:33:19.480 --> 00:33:22.440
there, and so you're raising your
child basically as your child. But it's

421
00:33:22.440 --> 00:33:28.319
almost like a could be like a
younger sibling where you're establishing relationship, you

422
00:33:28.319 --> 00:33:32.160
know, I'm trying to recapture and
relive what I missed growing up and now

423
00:33:32.200 --> 00:33:37.480
you're trying to capture with your child. So but I see it different ways.

424
00:33:37.519 --> 00:33:40.640
And I'm speaking of because of what
I've seen. You know, I'm

425
00:33:40.680 --> 00:33:45.480
not a parent, but I've seen
parenting styles and I've seen both ways.

426
00:33:45.119 --> 00:33:49.920
And sometimes it could be a sticky
situation, you know. And as the

427
00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:55.799
dude, you do as I do, or do as I say. Sorry

428
00:33:55.799 --> 00:33:59.079
about that, amen to that.
I mean, you couldn't have said it

429
00:33:59.119 --> 00:34:02.119
any better, I said. And
and it's whatever works well for you.

430
00:34:02.839 --> 00:34:07.359
And my daughter's eyes, I'm her
ride or die. She know my mom

431
00:34:07.400 --> 00:34:10.199
will come through. But she also
knows if I'm responsible for something, they

432
00:34:10.199 --> 00:34:15.159
can getting myself into something she gonna
make. She's gonna let me hang out

433
00:34:15.199 --> 00:34:20.280
there out the nest for a minute
and get myself together, make my decisions.

434
00:34:20.960 --> 00:34:22.719
She may not like all my decisions, but she she knows, she

435
00:34:22.920 --> 00:34:27.800
knows that she's there. I know
that she's there, you know. And

436
00:34:27.920 --> 00:34:30.079
I can only pray that, Hey, I've done all I can do.

437
00:34:30.119 --> 00:34:32.760
These folks gonna be twenty one next
month, My big my big baby gonna

438
00:34:32.760 --> 00:34:37.719
be twenty nine in October. Hey, I've done it. There's nothing else

439
00:34:37.760 --> 00:34:39.280
I can teach you. There's nothing
else I can tell you, you know,

440
00:34:39.519 --> 00:34:43.400
and we move it on. Next
week is my turn. You know,

441
00:34:43.440 --> 00:34:47.280
I'm celebrating the whole month Hollelujah,
glory, and I'm gonna have balloons

442
00:34:47.360 --> 00:34:51.360
already. They already been asking me
half the year what you want, Well,

443
00:34:51.480 --> 00:34:53.599
I want balloons. Off through the
house, on the mailbox, owner

444
00:34:53.639 --> 00:34:58.280
the garage door, in the backyard, on the case. I want balloons.

445
00:34:58.360 --> 00:35:00.920
I love balloons. I've always loved
balloons. I don't like when they

446
00:35:00.960 --> 00:35:05.239
pop, but I lay blooms.
So but yeah, you know, you're

447
00:35:05.280 --> 00:35:07.920
always self assessing. You're always looking
at what you're doing and making sure you

448
00:35:08.519 --> 00:35:12.679
just did only pray that you did
it the right way. You did well,

449
00:35:12.960 --> 00:35:15.440
that they can make it through,
they can make decisions, they can

450
00:35:15.519 --> 00:35:22.679
survive, they can survive. So
that's all, you know, that's what

451
00:35:22.679 --> 00:35:24.039
we want to talk about. You
know, parents, good, bad and

452
00:35:24.239 --> 00:35:28.519
ugly. You know, we've got
some parents who just some people who don't.

453
00:35:28.800 --> 00:35:31.760
You're not set to be a parent, you know, but you had

454
00:35:31.800 --> 00:35:36.320
a baby anyway, and and you're
not trying to put forth the effort whatever

455
00:35:36.360 --> 00:35:38.760
the case may be, but you
have to judge yourself and it's never too

456
00:35:38.880 --> 00:35:42.159
late. It's never too late to
go back and say, you know what,

457
00:35:42.199 --> 00:35:45.840
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry
I didn't give you what you wanted,

458
00:35:45.920 --> 00:35:50.280
what you needed. I'm sorry,
whatever the case may be. But

459
00:35:50.440 --> 00:35:53.639
do not let your children take you
for granted and ride off the guilt.

460
00:35:54.400 --> 00:35:58.280
Well, you wasn't there, You
didn't do this for me, You don't

461
00:35:58.400 --> 00:36:00.960
know. Put the stop to that. So now you got that all out,

462
00:36:01.400 --> 00:36:05.400
we could make the decision. We
could stay together, try to work

463
00:36:05.480 --> 00:36:09.960
on the relationship or build a relationship, create a relationship or if you if

464
00:36:09.960 --> 00:36:14.519
you'll be you feel that you can't
do that, then I'll give you your

465
00:36:15.559 --> 00:36:19.519
your your your freedom. And I
think to Lisia, just you know,

466
00:36:19.719 --> 00:36:22.880
just kind of having a dialogue or
what you would want for your child,

467
00:36:22.280 --> 00:36:27.440
what you would want for your child, and what your child would want for

468
00:36:27.800 --> 00:36:31.679
him or her, and not saying
that you're you're choosing the path, but

469
00:36:32.039 --> 00:36:37.039
having dialogue and asking them, you
know, because sometimes it's so easy to

470
00:36:37.079 --> 00:36:39.960
get lost into things. They have
so many things that they can bury their

471
00:36:39.960 --> 00:36:45.559
heads into. Um, television,
cell phone, you know, Facebook,

472
00:36:45.760 --> 00:36:50.480
all the social media platforms and so
you're not you know a lot of times

473
00:36:51.039 --> 00:36:57.119
kids are inundated with you know,
with what goes on outside of the household

474
00:36:57.239 --> 00:37:00.280
versus what goes on inside. And
so you know, I grew up in

475
00:37:00.280 --> 00:37:04.119
a household. I don't care what
they are doing in this house is this

476
00:37:04.159 --> 00:37:08.360
is what we do and so you
know, but it's it's things are different.

477
00:37:08.440 --> 00:37:13.280
But just think about how do you
want your child to be or you

478
00:37:13.320 --> 00:37:15.800
know you want the best. Would
you you know, make sure your child

479
00:37:15.880 --> 00:37:19.599
is safe, you know, safe, knows how to take care of him

480
00:37:19.679 --> 00:37:22.639
or herself should something happen to you. And what does that look like?

481
00:37:22.639 --> 00:37:25.679
Who does that person have as a
resource, you know, do they have

482
00:37:25.760 --> 00:37:30.519
godparents or they have aunts and uncles
or your close friends and yours that can

483
00:37:30.599 --> 00:37:34.440
kind of make sure that they are
guided or in the right way. But

484
00:37:34.519 --> 00:37:37.760
you have to start them young too, being receptive, you know, so

485
00:37:37.000 --> 00:37:42.880
you know, being around these are
adults, may not agree with them,

486
00:37:42.880 --> 00:37:46.639
but you should respect them. And
so you know, that was always the

487
00:37:46.719 --> 00:37:52.039
factor to respect adults. Adults will
have their opinions. You know, we've

488
00:37:52.039 --> 00:37:55.880
got an opinion from teachers and aunts
and uncles, and but I think the

489
00:37:55.920 --> 00:38:00.480
gold was still the same thing to
make sure that we were equip and understand.

490
00:38:00.519 --> 00:38:05.039
And one of the things to growing
up understanding history, you know,

491
00:38:05.159 --> 00:38:08.400
your family history, the struggles,
the accomplishments, so you'll have something to

492
00:38:08.480 --> 00:38:14.400
base on. And especially with us
having more than the generations before us,

493
00:38:14.679 --> 00:38:20.159
for more access two things. And
so you know, those are sumilar tempts

494
00:38:20.199 --> 00:38:24.119
that that I would just kind of
throw out to folks. Well, it's

495
00:38:24.159 --> 00:38:29.400
important. Everything you're saying is very
important. You have to apply. It's

496
00:38:29.440 --> 00:38:34.440
application season. Now I've had to
tell church members that it's application. Now.

497
00:38:34.440 --> 00:38:37.559
It's time to you for you to
apply what you've been learning all these

498
00:38:37.599 --> 00:38:42.079
times in the Bible study, in
church, in Sunday school, it's time

499
00:38:42.119 --> 00:38:45.840
to apply. If you not,
because obviously you haven't all this time.

500
00:38:45.519 --> 00:38:50.480
So now you've got to apply what
you know, apply what you know,

501
00:38:51.079 --> 00:38:53.599
see if you could, what works
and what don't. I'll always self assessing,

502
00:38:53.840 --> 00:38:57.639
even before this happened to me,
I was always the type of person

503
00:38:57.800 --> 00:39:01.960
that was self assessing that you know, even in going from high school to

504
00:39:02.079 --> 00:39:07.519
college to graduate school. Then again
the grad my study habits, my studying

505
00:39:07.599 --> 00:39:12.800
habits are changed every round. I
didn't study like I did in the same

506
00:39:12.840 --> 00:39:15.519
way I did in high school.
When I went to college, and when

507
00:39:15.559 --> 00:39:19.639
I went to graduate school. Then
years later, years later, I'm back

508
00:39:19.679 --> 00:39:22.679
in graduate school and I'm not studying. I didn't study the way I used

509
00:39:22.719 --> 00:39:27.760
to study in the first round of
graduate school. Now I'm in doctoral you

510
00:39:27.760 --> 00:39:34.079
know, college, I'm definitely not
because I'm on to accelerated program. So

511
00:39:34.159 --> 00:39:36.199
you got to I had to set
up. Okay, this is the time

512
00:39:36.239 --> 00:39:38.079
I'm gonna I'm on two, you
know, twesdays. I'm doing this.

513
00:39:38.159 --> 00:39:42.639
I'm formatting my papers and things like
that. I'm doing my research. I'm

514
00:39:42.679 --> 00:39:45.480
pulling my reference pray page together because
the one thing I hate doing is the

515
00:39:45.519 --> 00:39:49.519
reference page at the end, So
now I do it on the front end

516
00:39:49.840 --> 00:39:51.840
as I'm reading sous. Oh yeah, I'm gonna use this, so I'm

517
00:39:51.840 --> 00:39:53.400
gonna put that in there. And
all I do is cutting pace for the

518
00:39:53.440 --> 00:40:00.039
rest of the semester. Amen.
So you know, I just wanted to,

519
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.920
you know, have this coming.
I'm sorry and scratching my hair on

520
00:40:02.280 --> 00:40:07.679
camera. Um and I bad,
bad habit. I'm sorry about that,

521
00:40:07.760 --> 00:40:15.440
but it just doesn't but you know, you know, you just you gotta

522
00:40:15.519 --> 00:40:21.199
just self assess if it doesn't work
this way, Try another way. Don't

523
00:40:21.280 --> 00:40:25.320
just be giving up. Put your
your foot forward and do the best that

524
00:40:25.360 --> 00:40:29.800
you can. I know a lot
of people have left this world over the

525
00:40:29.880 --> 00:40:34.199
last three years that we did not
expect to leave the way that they left.

526
00:40:34.800 --> 00:40:37.880
We know this, But now you
have to pivot and you got to

527
00:40:37.960 --> 00:40:40.239
make do and say, Okay,
what is it that I need to do

528
00:40:40.320 --> 00:40:45.360
now, what's the next for me
that's gonna make this better? After I

529
00:40:45.400 --> 00:40:50.679
lost my mother, even though she
was the latter four years of her she

530
00:40:51.000 --> 00:40:53.480
remained. She was alive eight years
after my daddy passed. But for those

531
00:40:53.559 --> 00:40:58.360
years she was in placement because I
could not keep her at home because I

532
00:40:58.400 --> 00:41:00.920
had savory cousins that knew that my
mother wasn't in you know, her memory

533
00:41:01.000 --> 00:41:05.679
was shot, so I had it
wasn't safe for her. I had to

534
00:41:05.679 --> 00:41:09.400
go to work, so it wasn't
safe. And that's the hardest decision of

535
00:41:09.559 --> 00:41:15.559
social worker can make because we are
all about family unity, reutification. We're

536
00:41:15.559 --> 00:41:19.719
about trying to keep that child in
that home. And I'm not talking about

537
00:41:19.760 --> 00:41:23.440
DC if I'm talking about a true
social worker, that's about keeping the family

538
00:41:23.480 --> 00:41:27.039
together. Let's take care of that
elder. Okay, we keep him in

539
00:41:27.119 --> 00:41:29.199
his home. If not, what
you need to do? Do we need

540
00:41:29.239 --> 00:41:30.400
to come in there and renovate the
house so it can make it safe,

541
00:41:30.679 --> 00:41:35.760
Ada and aspects, what do we
need to do? That's who we are.

542
00:41:36.199 --> 00:41:37.840
So the hardest thing I had to
do was to say I have no

543
00:41:38.000 --> 00:41:43.760
other choice but to put her in
the hands of someone else. But I

544
00:41:43.800 --> 00:41:50.000
went by three days, three times
a day, all the weekends. Oh

545
00:41:50.079 --> 00:41:53.880
yeah, because I had to keep
my conscious clean and clear, you know,

546
00:41:54.360 --> 00:41:58.360
so you know, you have to
do what you have to do.

547
00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:02.679
And then after my mom had passed, then I decided, okay, I

548
00:42:02.760 --> 00:42:07.960
need to go ahead, and it
was a while and go through their stuff,

549
00:42:07.000 --> 00:42:13.199
go through the papers, go through
their things, and start to roll

550
00:42:13.280 --> 00:42:19.519
it out because I need to make
the home now my home. That meant

551
00:42:19.519 --> 00:42:22.480
getting away, giving away the shears
and the drakes and getting blind things and

552
00:42:22.559 --> 00:42:27.199
stuff like that, you know,
because my mother would take the shears down

553
00:42:27.199 --> 00:42:30.000
in the curtains and wash them,
take the little hooks out and everything.

554
00:42:30.079 --> 00:42:34.280
I'll be like, oh heck,
now, I am not gonna do that.

555
00:42:35.519 --> 00:42:38.920
But you know, getting back to
parenting, you have to do the

556
00:42:38.960 --> 00:42:45.360
best that you can. And if
you did not if you made certain decisions

557
00:42:45.360 --> 00:42:49.360
that you're you're living with, you've
been living with as a regret. You

558
00:42:49.519 --> 00:42:53.400
need to come clear and clean that
plate. You need to get those cobwebs

559
00:42:53.440 --> 00:42:59.519
off of those subjects, off of
those memories, off of those experience sins,

560
00:43:00.119 --> 00:43:07.079
and live. Many times I didn't
have to say I'm sorry to somebody

561
00:43:07.360 --> 00:43:15.440
in person. I could apologize in
my prayer and Gods are done because I

562
00:43:15.440 --> 00:43:22.199
would never see that person again if
that was the case. So I just

563
00:43:22.239 --> 00:43:24.840
want you all to stay encourage.
We're gonna close up a little earlier tonight.

564
00:43:27.519 --> 00:43:30.320
I got to go run and do
something else. But I just hope

565
00:43:30.360 --> 00:43:36.320
that tonight, you know, it
helped you all to understand. You know,

566
00:43:36.440 --> 00:43:38.639
you need to regard how what kind
of parent are you? What kind

567
00:43:38.679 --> 00:43:45.079
of parent you want? To be? Clean the plate, ask for forgiveness

568
00:43:45.079 --> 00:43:49.880
and forgive yourself. Okay, So
we thank you, Thank you Trey for

569
00:43:49.920 --> 00:43:54.440
coming on next week. We'll be
here, same time, same station.

570
00:43:54.480 --> 00:43:58.159
That's it for tonight. Y'all be
blessed out. Take care,